How To Do Your Job Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To Do Your Job

View 971 - 980 results for how to do your job comic strips. Discover the best "How To Do Your Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoid ansering, #emails, #unhelpful moron, #poorly designed robot, #terminate ecompnay, #robot

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I've noticed that whenever I ask you a specific question by email, you avoid answering it." Alice says, "You're either an unhelpful moron or a poorly designed robot sent from the future to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "How did you know it was a robot?" Alice says, "I didn't."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talk over people, #jumbled typ face, #escalate, #lisening, #fun part

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I've decided to escalate my anti-social behavior from not listening, to actively talking over other people." Dilbert says, "How can you enjoy the conversation of others if you don't listen?" Dogbert says, "This could be one of the best ideas I've ever had." Dogbert says, "It all came together when I realized that listening isn't the fun part."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experinced, #industry, #technology, #youth oriented, #culture, #modem, #hit with modem, #new technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Old man: I know what Im talking about. I have thirty years in this industry! Asok: How does that help you understand technology that is six months old in a youth oriented culture? Old man: GRRR... ASOK: Please don't hit me with your modem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #train mailroom guy, #worthjless, #unimportant, #email, #shovel emails, #recycling bins, #clean desk

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job is to shovel all of the regular mail into recycling bins." Wally says, "We won't be paying you, but you can use packages and tape to build your own igloo." Two weeks later The Boss says, "Why is my desk so clean?" Wally says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #old coworker, #whisper, #secret, #knowledge, #die, #evil smile, #grin, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss"B<R>The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #pep talk, #ceo, #angry, #silent, #worry, #front, #motivation, #dumb, #hate, #bosses, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The CEO pep talk CEO says, "I want to know I can count on every one of you!" CEO says, "What's wrong with these people?" Dilbert says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month." The Boss says, "Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts." The Boss says, "The rest of them believe that motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb." CEO says, "Tell them I hate their guts." The Boss says, "I did that in the pre-meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #angry, #annoyed, #memory, #coworker, #violence, #slam face on smartphone, #front of mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "You didn't answer my e-mail." Coworker says, "I don't check e-mail often." Alice says, "The whole point of e-mail is that you check it often." Alice says, "Are you an idiot or some sort of digital sociopath?" Coworker says, "Sometimes I don't remember to check it." Alice says, "You seem like a visual learner, so let me show you how to keep e-mail in the front of your mind." Alice says, "Is this your smartphone?" Coworker says, "Yes." BAM! Alice says, "Now it's in the front of your mind. Get it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stockholder, #meeting, #budget, #waste money, #panic attack, #pucker face, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Stockholder says, "Hi ho! I'm a common stockholder. I'm here to see how my investment is coming along." The Boss says, "Okay, first on the agenda, we need to blow our budget before year end so we don't get less money next year." The Boss says, "How many ten-dollar mouse pads can we get for $10,000?" Stockholder says, "I hope this is a panic attack."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #Environment, #risks, #mistakes, #fist, #hard job

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "My job is to create an environment where employees feel safe taking risks." The Boss says, "My other job is punishing employees who make any kind of mistake." The Boss says, "My point is that I'm glad I don't have your job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security consultant, #meeting, #angry, #shake, #ears up, #surprise, #fillings, #dentist, #id badge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Security Consultant Dogbert says, "Anyone without an I.D. badge is assumed to be an enemy combatant." Dogbert says, "Pounce on the intruder and shake him until his fillings fall out!" Alice says, "How much did we pay for that advice?" Dogbert says, "It's free. I work for the dentist across the street."