Lazy But Funny Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Lazy But Funny

View 971 - 980 results for lazy but funny comic strips. Discover the best "Lazy But Funny" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee maker, #meeting, #not enough money, #raise, #too much, #budget, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'd like to give you a raise but I used the entire budget on a new coffee maker. It's a nice one.There's talk that I paid too much for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #date, #stories of woe, #no tv or internet, #carving canoe, #woman runs out

View Transcript

Transcript

My cable system wasn't working last night. I didn't have TV or internet. Dilbert: So I stared at the wall until it was time for bed. I considered carving a canoe out of a tree trunk, but it seemed like a lot of work. Woman: Check!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dried up head, #evil director, #free stuff, #hr, #inquiry, #trouble saying no

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Is there a company sponsored program for regrowing my lost soul? CatBert: No, but I'd be happy to bat your dried-up head until it snaps off. Dilbert: I have trouble saying no to free stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pessimistic co workers, #crushed soul, #meat clothes, #rain soul, #less fortunate, #volunteering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My pessimistic coworkers have crushed my soul. Now I am nothing but meat with clothes. Garbageman: You can regain your soul by volunteering to help the less fortunate. Dilbert: Who is less fortunate than me? Garbageman: Anyone you date."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #breakroom, #coffee into wine, #hay-soos, #jesus, #miracle, #new employee, #special powers, #hair, #bald

View Transcript

Transcript

Pronounced Hay-soos Wally: With a name like Jesus, I can't promise I won't mock you. Foop! Jesus: baldness be gone. Wally: I'm not lazy...and I can see! Jesus: Don't spill your wine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online budget approval, #process making changes, #classes, #approval process, #budget varience, #broken system, #charges, #cubicle, #billable project, #exaggerating accomplishments

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Out online budget approval system isn't working. There's a process for making changes to the system, but I don't know it. I could take a class to learn the process, but there's also a process for approving classes. I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class. And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken. I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering time to administrative overhead. So I'll go sit in my cubicle and pretend to be thinking about a billable project. It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jesus, #introduces, #new employee, #team leader, #enjoy retirement, #coffee stain

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, this is your new team leader. He spells his name like Jesus but it's pronounced Hay-Soos. If you do what Jesus would do, you can enjoy your retirement. Wally: I have a coffee stain that looks just like you. Jesus: I get that a lot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #woman, #confides, #sad story, #piano fell on head, #dilbert laughs, #killed brother

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I used to have a brother, but a piano fell on his head. Dilbert: Hee hee!" Dilbert: Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approval policy, #coffee supplies, #disobedience, #fire, #hatred, #new informational services, #effigies

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"