Life Like Sound Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Life Like Sound

View 971 - 980 results for life like sound comic strips. Discover the best "Life Like Sound" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aligns with priorities, #budget, #lying, #priorities, #questiong

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meeting, #take an hour, #skip meeting, #agree to die, #earlier, #deadness, #haunt boss, #agreement

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead horse, #meeting room, #cahir, #beating, #good work, #havnet beaten long enough, #introduce

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I hired a dead horse, he doesn't look like much, but if you beat him long enough, he does good work." Dilbert: "Have you seen him do good work?" The Boss: "I haven't beaten him long enough." "Introduce yourself to the others!" Whap!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #theoretically impossible, #looped back, #mobs strip, #to- do list, #had a pencil

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "It was theoretically impossible to work this week." "Everything I needed to do required me to do something else first, until it all looped back on itself like a Mobius strip." The boss: "Maybe you could make a to-do list." Wally: "As if I had a pencil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffe pot, #coffee stand, #offcie, #yell, #order coffee, #quality of life, #taste better

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead for week, #managed reincarnation, #own clone, #shapeshifting skills, #snicker bar, #cable guy, #waited at house, #equivalent

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I was dead for a week, but I managed to reincarnate into my own clone and use my shapeshifting skills to look less like a snickers bar." Carol: "I once waited four hours for a cable tv guy to show up at my house." Asok: "Those stories are no equivalent." Carol: "It's subjective."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost estimate, #user requirements, #estimate, #go over budget, #fired, #Number, #ten million dollars, #know cost, #input

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I need a cost estimate on your project." Dilbert: "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." The Boss: "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." Dilbert: "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." The boss: "Give me a number or I'll fire you right now." Dilbert: "Okay, it will cost ten million dollars." The Boss: "That's too high." Dilbert: "If you already know the cost why are you asking me?" The Boss: "So you'll feel like you had input." Dilbert: "Is input supposed to feel this bad?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech writer, #stack of papers, #speed of writing, #breakthrough, #realize accuracy, #optional, #micromanage, #errors

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the tech writer Tina: "As you requested I increased the speed of my writing." "My breakthrough was realizing that accuracy and clarity are optional!" "Would you like to micromanage me by reading it all and pointing out the errors?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #worker, #office, #wrong path, #precise verbal explanation, #embarrassment of undoing, #good plan, #progress, #mistreatment of workers, #corrupt policices, #bad boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, I need you to do something, but I don't have time to fully explain it." "I'll give you just enough information to send you down the wrong path." "Later, after you do it wrong. I'll treat you like you're some sort of idiot." "Then I'll put you through the embarrassment of undoing everything you did." "This might not sound like a good plan to you." "But it takes the task off of my plate and puts it on yours." "That's called progress." Dilbert: "Today I helped make progress." Garbageman: "Better luck tomorrow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family friendly policy, #implemented, #children, #parents, #needs of family, #school, #sick, #rugby game, #denta;appoitments, #responsibility of parent, #surprised, #Family, #education, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I'd like to take advantage of our new family friendly policy." "Three of my kids have bronchitis, two have dental appointments, one is in a school play, and one has a rugby game." "In all likelihood, you will never see me again." The boss: "We didn't think this through."