Not Good People Comic Strips - Page 98

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View 971 - 980 results for not good people comic strips. Discover the best "Not Good People" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #imagination, #experince, #email, #boss, #hurts brain, #think about it, #team players, #new projects, #form of evil, #people squander it

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Asok says, "Is it my imagination or am I doing your job, plus mine?" Wally says, "That's not your imagination, Asok." Wally says, "It's a little thing I call experience." Wally says, "Once a week, I e-mail our pointy-haired boss and ask him a question." Wally says, "I make the question so complicated that it hurts his brain." The Boss says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally says, "He'll spend the rest of the week avoiding me so he doesn't need to think about it." Wally says, "Meanwhile he seeks out team players and hammers them with new projects." Asok says, "So... experience is a form of evil?" Wally says, "Not always. Some people squander it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #killer robots, #spam filter, #ordered

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Dilbert says, "Do you really think it's a good idea to build killer robots just because our spam filter ordered you?" FZEEET! Dilbert says, "What's the worst thing that could happen?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #government buy out, #bloated carcass, #blot out sun, #cookies, #lemonade

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The CEO says, "Our plan is to beg for a government bailout." The CEO says, "It's good for everyone because otherwise our bloated carcass will blot out the sun." The CEO says, "We have cookies and lemonade in the back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competent, #good judge of people, #hired, #lame resume, #not tall, #job interview, #hired on spot

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The Boss says, "Your resume is lame, but you're tall, so you must be competent." The Boss says, "You're hired. Let me show you around." The Boss says, "I'm what you call a good judge of people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change is good, #most start ups fail, #questions at end

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The Boss says, "Change is good." Dilbert says, "Then why do most startups fail?" The Boss says, "I only take questions at the end." Someone says, "There's more?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loser, #achieves nothing, #reality, #winner, #realistic goals, #genous, #have a pulse

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Wally says, "Some people see me as a loser who achieves nothing." Wally says, "In reality I am a winner who knows how to set realistic goals." Dilbert says, "So you're sort of a genius." Wally says, "And yet my only goal was to have a pulse."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logo for project, #badgered them, #finish it quickly, #competence by logo, #pile of poop

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Dilbert says, "Our graphics department made this logo for my project." Dilbert says, "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have badgered them to finish quickly." Dilbert says, "Please don't judge my competence by my logo." Two people say, "Too late."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logo, #prototype, #graphics dept, #create logos

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Dilbert says, "And I need you to design a logo for our prototype." A man says, "We don't do that. We're the graphics support department. Talk to the graphics production department." Dilbert says, "They create logos?" The man says, "No, they tell people we do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #start rumors, #spread lies, #stock pop up, #stock options, #steal, #before computers

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert thinks, "Start some rumors, spread some lies..." Dogbert says, "Wait for the stock to pop up... exercise my stock options... bang!" Dogbert thinks, "How did people steal before computers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new vp of finance, #secret offshore bank, #forgot account number, #password, #name of country, #not so good

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Wally is the new VP of Finance A troll says, "I moved all of our cash to a secret offshore bank." The troll says, "But I forgot to write down the account number. Or the password. Or the name of the country." The troll says, "And... I'm not entirely sure it was a bank." Wally thinks, "First day, not so good."