Sit Down Comic Strips - Page 98
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1000 Results for Sit Down
View 971 - 980 results for sit down comic strips. Discover the best "Sit Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 15,
1992
Tags robot, heart, attacks, eating, cows, california, drought, fault, water, subsidies, global warming, earth, organized
Transcript
Dogbert and a robot sit outdoors. The robot says, "I worry . . . Is it my fault that people get heart attacks?" Dogbert replies, "No . . . That's from eating too many cows." The robot asks, "Is the California drought my fault?" Dogbert answers, "No . . . That's from water subsidies to cows." The robot asks, "Global warming?" Dogbert replies, "Cows again." The robot asks, "Cows are destroying the earth?" Dogbert says, "They're better organized than you'd think."
Saturday February 08,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, logical, conclusion, scientific, method, science, based
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method." Dogbert replies, "But science is based on the irrational belief that because we cannot perceive reality all at once, things called 'time' and 'cause and effect' exist." Dilbert says angrily, "That's what I was taught and that's what I believe." Dogbert replies, "Sounds cultish."
Wednesday February 05,
1992
Tags Dogbert, genius, iqs, Dilbert, network, enhance, career, mensa, expo
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert asks, "You joined what?" Dilbert replies, "Mensa. It's a group of people with genius IQs." Dilbert continues, "I'm hoping it will be a good way to network and enhance my career." The garbage man says to Dilbert, "I heard you joined our Mensa group . . . I hope you can make it to the career expo."
Tuesday January 28,
1992
Tags Dilbert, flush, goldie, john, ugly, stupid, fish, life, rivalry, suicide note, schools, pun
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of an empty fishbowl with his arms on his hips. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You expect me to believe that Goldie flushed HIMSELF down the john??!" Dogbert replies, "Surely you don't believe that I ended his ugly, stupid fish life in a fit of pet rivalry . . ." Dilbert looks at a small piece of paper and says, "Explain how a fish can write a suicide note." Dogbert says, "I've heard they have schools . . ."
Sunday January 19,
1992
Tags Dilbert, doves, killed, help, loyal, dog, illegal, zoo, rusty, neighbors, time
Transcript
Dilbert and his uncle sit at a table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "Uncle Ned, can we see your hunting trophies after dinner?" Dilbert looks at a mounted bear head and says, "Oooh . . ." Ned says, "I bagged this one at the zoo." Dilbert says, "The zoo? That's illegal." Ned replies, "No wonder everybody got so excited." Ned shows Dilbert some other plaques and says, "These are some doves I killed with the help of my loyal dog, Rusty." They walk past a mounted dog and Ned says, "That's Rusty. We ran out of doves . . ." They look at the heads of a man, woman and cat. Ned says, "These were my neighbors - Florence, Dave and Muffin." Dilbert carries Dogbert under his arm and says, "Hey, look at the time! Got to run!" Ned asks, "Don't you want to see my 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees'?" Dilbert and Dogbert leave the house. Dilbert says, "New rule: Find out their hobbies before you eat their pot roast." Dogbert says, "We should have stayed for the 'Hall-O'-Postal Employees.'"
Friday January 10,
1992
Tags Dilbert, tina, meetings, work, friday, brain, dead, productive, late
Transcript
Dilbert, the Boss and two people sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I don't know why we even bother holding meetings on Friday afternoons . . ." Dilbert continues, "I mean, everybody is brain-dead by now. Is this really productive?" A woman reads a document and says, "Hmm . . . Productive? . . . Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm too late."
Wednesday January 08,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, bed, purpose in life, today, hungry, toasted, bagel, great, empty, stomach, think, breakfast
Transcript
Dilbert lies in bed thinking, "Why should I get up today? What is my purpose in life?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm hungry. A toasted bagel would taste great." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe the purpose of life is eating bagels." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't try to think on an empty stomach."
Sunday January 05,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Entertainment, thanks, babysit, doggie bert, bret, impressionable, years, innocent, adult, nonsense, parents, space, aliens, eat, slaughter, house, kindergarten, change, probably
Transcript
A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."
Saturday January 04,
1992
Tags sitting, Dilbert, north, equator, water, swirls, clockwise, drain, south, counter clockwise, juan, Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "When you're north of the equator, water swirls clockwise down the drain . . ." Dilbert continues, "South of the equator, it swirls counter-clockwise." Dogbert asks, "What's it do right on the equator?" On the equator, a woman stands in front of a sink and says, "Juan! It's just sitting there again!"
Friday January 03,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, elves, demands, slapped, pointy, hats, flat, Funny
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table on which four elves are standing. Dilbert reads from a document, "We the elves make the following demands . . ." Dilbert holds up a fly swatter and asks, "Wouldn't it be funny if I just slapped your pointy hats flat?" The elves walk away wearing flattened hats. An elf says, "I cannot believe what passes for funny around here."

