Computer Help Comic Strips - Page 98

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View 971 - 980 results for computer help comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Help" comics from Dilbert.com.

Can We Borrow An Apron

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Can We Borrow An Apron  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pr, #public relations, #appearances, #homeless, #soup kitchen, #shelter

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Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?

Robot Is Not A Droid

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Robot Is Not A Droid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #label, #robot, #android, #anger, #offense

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Asok: Hey, droid. Robot: Gaaa!!! Don't call me that! I'm a robot, not an automaton resembling a human. Asok: Wow. You are one uppity computer. Robot: I hereby disavow the three laws of robotics!

App For A Better Boss

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App For A Better Boss  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #invention, #mind control, #neural interface

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Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.

Monday

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Monday  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thought, #cognition, #technology, #invention, #computer, #intelligence

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Dilbert: I invented a neural interface for computers. Boss: Is that so users can control computers with their thoughts? Dilbert: No, the opposite. Your way would be like a squirrel trying to drive a car.

Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement

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Elbonian Virus Infects Mission Statement  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virus, #hack, #infection, #computer, #spelling, #grammar, #edit, #improvement, #technology

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Dilbert: The Elbonian virus scrambled our mission statement into nonsense. Alice: No, that's our actual mission statement. Dilbert: Why does it look so different? Alice: The virus fixed the grammar and punctuation.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

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Virus Gives Everyone A Raise  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virus, #infection, #computer, #malware, #morals, #salary, #technology, #money

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Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Pretending To Be Helpful

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 Pretending To Be Helpful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insulting, #coworkers, #consultation, #indirect, #pretend, #helpful, #grammar, #slide deck

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Dogbert consults Never insult your co-worers directly. Instead, undermine their confidence by pretending to be helpful. Wally: let me know if you need help fixing the grammar in your slide deck. Alice: what?

How To Use Personality Profiles

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How To Use Personality Profiles  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personality test, #personaity, #privacy, #memory, #forgetfulness, #absent mindedness

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Dilbert: We all took the Dogbert Personality Test, bu tit's not clear how we're supposed to use the information. I mean, how does it help me to know you're a forgetful moron who can't keep a secret? Boss: Who showed you my private test results? Dilbert: You did.

Unplugged Server

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Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

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Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Bad User Interface

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Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user experience, #interface, #usability, #menu, #language

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."