How To Program Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for How To Program

View 971 - 980 results for how to program comic strips. Discover the best "How To Program" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #core values, #integrity, #value, #honesty, #excellence, #inherent conflicts, #fund na dpassionate, #all of them, #hygiene

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo buzz, #hire a big name, #reputation, #toughness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "You need to hire a big name CEO to get some buzz." "You want someone with a reputation for toughness, whoc kinows how toget the most out of people." "Come back later. I'm still getting the most out of this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #100 million, #dental plan, #not effective, #major corporation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Executive Search Firm "How would you like to be the CEO of a major corporation?" "You'd be paid $100 million per year just for showing up." "I'd have to see the dental plan." "He's not very effective during the day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed ceo, #worth 100 million, #all reverse, #head in glass, #successful engineer, #kind of funny

View Transcript

Transcript

RAtbert: You're a successful engineer and I'm a failed CEO. It's kind of funny that I'm worth $100 million and you're not. " It's funny because it's all reverse of how it should be." Dilbert: "It's funny because your head wouldn't normally fit inside a glass."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #don't sit by popel, #full flight, #suitcase, #overhead comaprtment, #bin, #scotch over

View Transcript

Transcript

"Your seat is next to mine, but I don't like to sit by people." "It's a full flight, so I don't see how I could...oh dear..." "No, I wll not 'scooch over.'" "News!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fresh cauliflower, #sleep, #operation oiwrked, #reminds me, #anesthesia, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

"First I'll saw open your head. Then I'll replace your faulty brain with a fresh cauliflower." "How do I know you won't put me to sleep, eat the cauliflower and claim the operation worked?" "That reminds me: your insurance doesn't cover anesthesia."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #police action, #neotaiotor, #evaluation form, #surrender

View Transcript

Transcript

Police Negotiator "SURRENDER NOW AND YOU WON'T GET HURT!!!" "Here he comes." BAM BAM BAM "I'll leave an evaluation form. Please let us know how we're doing." "Done deal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #Promotion, #you didn't get it, #misogyny, #screams

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company policy, #least expensive flight, #17 connecting flights, #elbonain prison, #dressed as a ballerina, #desecrate monument

View Transcript

Transcript

"Per company policy, I got you the least expensive flight available." "Your trip will have 17 connecting flights and you're required to spend at least one night 'in an Elbonian prison, dressed as a ballerina.'" "How much would I have to desecrate a national monument to get one night in jail?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, after I left the meeting yesterday, did you blame me for the failure of the project?" "I'm getting a bad vibe from people today. That sort of rumor could stain my reputation and ruin my entire future." "How dare you accuse me..." "Well, well. Look who's impeding Wally again."