Make Exceptions Comic Strips - Page 98

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View 971 - 980 results for make exceptions comic strips. Discover the best "Make Exceptions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract

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Dilbert's Tube Clothes Distract - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothing, #dress code, #fashion, #human resources, #obliviousness, #sex appeal, #sexiness, #co workers, #tube clothes, #modifications, #distarction, #corduroy tube, #libido killer, #business

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Catbert: Your co-workers are complaining that your tube clothes distract them from work. Dilbert: I can make some modifications so I'm less sexy. That should cut down on the distraction. Catbert: We might not be on the same page. Dilbert: I could wear a corduroy tube. That's a libido killer.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #design, #evil, #frustration, #product designer, #torture, #hate people, #styrofoam debris, #invisible buttons

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Dogbert: I decided to become a product designer because I hate people. I will fill every package with styrofoam debris and affix hard-to-remove stickers all over the cases. I'll make the buttons invisible by making them black on a black surface. Ha ha ha! Dilbert: I've always wondered how this stuff happens.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #weight, #dieting, #willpower, #denial, #circular logic, #eating, #health, #happiness, #weight loss, #obesity, #psychology, #medical

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can help people lose weight. Boss: I wouldn't need that because I have willpower. Dilbert: Then why are you overweight? Boss: This is temporary. Dilbert: You've looked exactly the same for years. Boss: I can lose this weight any time I want. Dilbert: So... are you saying you choose to be less healthy than you could be? Boss: I'm saying I'd rather be happy than healthy. Dilbert: Are you happy? Boss: No, because I'm hungry. Dilbert: And eating will make you happy? Boss: Well, I usually eat until I'm sick.

Have To Promote Wally

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Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad decision, #mentor, #mentoring, #promotions, #protege, #promote, #vice presdient, #good news

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Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #work, #google, #big business, #projects, #ideas, #innovation

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CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deciding, #lunch, #choosing, #technology, #options, #yelp, #frustration

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How To Eat Lunch. Dilbert: Lunch? Alice: Sure. Where do you want to go? Dilbert: Well, let's see... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: You're slow. Let me check! Dilbert: No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: No... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... no... Dilbert: No... no... no... no... no... no... Alice: How about this... No, bad review. Dilbert: How about this... No, they have no tables. [45 Minutes Later] Alice: Show me food! Dilbert: Food! Food! Food! Boss: Time to make some billion-dollar decisions. Dilbert: I'm going feral!

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #design, #form, #function, #product design, #product designer, #selfishness, #portfolio

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: You might think my job is to make products that are easy to use. But that wouldn't help me, so instead I design stuff that looks good in my portfolio but is impossible to use. Dilbert: This looks great, but no one will be able to see black buttons on a black case. Dogbert: Not my problem.

App For Hiring Decisions

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App For Hiring Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mansplaining, #tech, #programmers, #coders, #interview, #hiring, #stereotype

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Boss: No need to talk. Now we use an app to make hiring decisions. The app checked your online footprint and says you're a serial mansplainer with an unsuccessful dating history. I assume that means you have awesome technical skills. Interviewee: Full stack!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.