New System Comic Strips - Page 98
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"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Mister Serdecisions." "Call me Lou." "Can you cover for me tomorrow while I put shelf paper in my kitchen cabinets?" "Tomorrow is our project kickoff meeting." "Good lord, man! I can't put dishes on wood?"
Patty the Amplifier and Distorter "We got a proposal from a new vendor today." "DILBERT LOVES THE NEW VENDOR HE THINKS THAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS AN IDIOT!" "That's not what..." "HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE SALES REP!"
"Wally, I came to ask you for the new design specs." "But we both know you'll send me to someone who doesn't have them, and that person will refer me back to you." "When I return, you will have escaped to your secret hiding place." "Ted has the specs."
"Alice, interview the guy in our conference room and see what he can do for us." "I'm going to bonk your head on the table. If it sounds empty, you'll work in marketing." "How did it go?" "I bonked too hard. We just got a new sales guy."
"Hi. I'm your new nemesis." "The nemesis function used to be handled informally. Now it's a profession, kind of like project management." "Stand by while I prepare my nemesis face and look for reasons to thwart you." sigh
You're in charge of installing the system that Lyin' John sold to our biggest customer. "Lyin' John neglected to include the network and server in his sale. This is a financial sinkhole." "You take the joy out of delegating."
"Here's the problem: Our salesman, Lyin' John, sold you a system that we can't install without losing money." "I propose that you pay us 40% more than we quoted you in the contract, and everyone wins." "Her body language says she's thinking about it." CRACK!!!
Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."
"So, Asok, what have you heard about Ted's project?" "He seems to be in over his head and he's blaming you for cutting the wrong budget." "I hope this doesn't come back to bite me." "Now now, Carol. I'm working my new snitch."
"Alice, this is Ellen, your new natural enemy." "You're highly skilled but mannish, whereas Ellen is unqualified and totally hot." "Now I have to decide who will come with me to the trade show in Hawaii and who will do the furniture inventory."