See And Hear Comic Strips - Page 98

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View 971 - 980 results for see and hear comic strips. Discover the best "See And Hear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Write Your Own Review

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Write Your Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #performance, #sarcasm

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Boss: I need you to write your own performance review for my signature. Dilbert: I'll sign it for you too. I see no reason for you to be involved. Boss: Put something in there about insubordination. Dilbert: Got it.

Why Didn't You Do It Sooner

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Why Didn't You Do It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #office workers, #problem

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Dilbert: I solved our server reliability problem. Boss: Why didn't you do it sooner? Dilbert: If you see my motivation anywhere, tell it I miss it.

No Recognisiton

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No Recognisiton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #office workers, #social media, #video games, #expectations

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Man: Video games and social media have made me addicted to artificial success. But here in the real world, I do not receive the recognition I so crave. Dilbert: That's because all you do is play video games and use social media. Man: See? I'm getting nothing.

Best Product

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Best Product - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jokes, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #presentation

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Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row. Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago? Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties. Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.

Meeting Robot's Son

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Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #hungry, #Kids, #robot, #technology

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Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Health Problems

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Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Dating A Unicorn

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Dating A Unicorn - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #dating, #office, #office workers, #unicorn

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ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.

Asok In A Coma

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Asok In A Coma - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #coma, #dopamine

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dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.

Post Mortem

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Post Mortem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #project, #idiots

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the boss around a conference table: let's do a post-mortem on our failed project to see what we did wrong. dilbert: we allowed idiots to make decisions. the boss: you say that every time. dilbert: i haven't been wrong yet.