Two People Comic Strips - Page 98

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Two People

View 971 - 980 results for two people comic strips. Discover the best "Two People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #personal business, #lunch hour, #work through lunch, #take full hour, #internet, #business only, #limited zeros and ones, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans his head in the Boss's office and says, "I'm going to do some personal business during my lunch hour." Dilbert continues, "Normally I would work through lunch." Dilbert says, "But this will take a full hour." Dilbert turns to leave and says, "It would only take two minutes if I used the Internet." Dilbert turns back towards the Boss and wags his finger, saying, "But the internet is for business use only!" The Boss stares as Dilbert says, "Our company has a limited number of zeroes and ones." Dilbert holds out his arms and says, "When they're gone, they're gone. Furthermore..." Wally looks at Dilbert and asks, "You mocked him for a full hour?" Dilbert says, "Now it's time to eat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #call center, #room of shoes, #wall

View Transcript

Transcript

Callcenter. Dilbert: Here's where you'll be working Ratbert. Robert: This must be where people leave their shoes. Is it okay if I hang my things on my wall?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #technology, #paul tergeist, #computer, #shoots up, #falls on head, #Dilbert, #coworker, #monitor head

View Transcript

Transcript

Paul Tergeist is sitting with Dilbert in front of the computer at Dilbert's cubicle. Paul says: "This technology will work or my name isn't Paul Tergeist." Suddently, the monitor rockets into the air. The two watch it with stupefaction as it ascends. The monitor lands on Dilbert's head. Paul says: "I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened to a co-worker." Dilbert simply says: "Ow."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2000's comic on:


Tags #your cucbicle, #connect network, #stop by, #every few minutes, #the boss, #emplyee

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company sadist, #forwarded email, #email insulted, #interesting theory

View Transcript

Transcript

The sadist approaches Alice and says, "I forwarded your e-mail to everyone." Alice now shocked and horrified, turns to face the sadist. She says, "Gaaa! That e-mail insulted half the people on our project!!" After reading Alice's email, Carol says to Alice and Dilbert "That's an interesting theory about why my hair is brown."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #generic self help, #consultant, #keep a journal, #lead by example, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #chatter non stop, #every woman, #no male traits, #galk

View Transcript

Transcript

Ming says to Dilbert as they sit together at a table, "Do you mind if I chatter nonstop about people you don't know?" Dilbert answers, "No." Dilbert then asks Ming, "Do you mind if I gawk at every woman who walks by?" Ming answers, "Yes." Ming says to Dilbert, "In fact, I would appreciate it if you displayed no male traits whatsoever." Dilbert responds, "Can do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #plan, #agreement, #happy, #cheers, #inspiring

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Alice, "...And that's the plan." Wally yells, "Yippee!" Alice screams, "Woo-ha!!" The Boss thinks to himself, "I'm very inspiring lately." As Alice and Wally walk away, Alice says to Wally "How did people survive meetings before these things?" Wally replies, "Webvlan split!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company concierge, #alibi, #lye, #a barrel, #police, #break you, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I need an alibi." The employee continues, "The police will try to beat the truth out of you, but don't let them break you!" The employee goes on, "I also need lye...and a barrel...better yet, make that two barrels."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #secretary works harder, #paid less, #many like you, #kill boss eventually, #fewer bosses

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says to the Boss, "I work harder than you. Why do I get paid a fifth of what you make?" The Boss answers, "That's because there are many people like you but few people like me." Carol replies, "Maybe that's because the people like me eventually kill the people like you."