Bad Job Market Comic Strips - Page 99

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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We've narrowed our target market to this guy. "He's the only one rich enough and stupid enough to buy our high-end product." "Our diamond-encrusted time machine will take you one hour into the future in only sixty minutes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I've decided to test my market value by doing some interviews. "Would you like some interview tips?" "Nah. I'll use my instincts." "You're an hour late!" "Your men's room is like a palace."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Wally Interviews "The job doesn't have a base salary." "You'll pay us $1,000 per month and work from home. If you make any money for us, we'll give you 10%." "You're not allowed to have business cards. And you can't use our name." "Can I have a private office in my house?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I have a job offer from another company, but I'll give you a chance to buy my loyalty." "Now I just sit back and let the loving begin." "And his opening offer is..." "That's right: Whack him in the parking lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam

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Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #unpleasant parts, #free to concentrate, #do startegy

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"I'd like to hire someone to do all of the unpleasant parts of my job." "That way I'll be free to concentrate on strategy." "Fair enough." "Secondly, I'd like to hire someone to do strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #working 80 hours, #per wekk, #ground breaking, #starategies, #my underlings

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I'm working 80 hours per week and you hire someone to do your work??? "Leave him alone so he can think up groundbreaking strategies." "Such as?" "I changed your job title to 'My Underling's Underling.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #hired abusive, #lying, #control freak, #difficult coworkers

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"I hired an abusive, lying, back-stabbing, control freak." "But don't worry, because I'm sending you to a class on how to deal with difficult coworkers." "Wouldn't it have been better to..." "I've heard bad things about that guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bed idea, #new sourpuss, #optimism, #leadership 90 5 opitimism

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"Meet our new Sourpuss." "I heard that every office has one. And we didn't, so I went out and got one." "Does anything ever sound like a bad idea to you?" "Leadership is 90% optimism."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"We're off to see the Wizard of Landfill. He'll give you some ambition and he'll show me how to get home." "Can we go too? I need experience...And he needs a brain, heart, soul, and a strategic vision." "No I don't. You're fired!" "And a job...I need a job."