New Bonus Plan Comic Strips - Page 99

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1000 Results for New Bonus Plan

View 981 - 990 results for new bonus plan comic strips. Discover the best "New Bonus Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most experiences, #die, #do nothing, #experience nothing, #immortality, #over rated, #rat, #coffee can

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Ratbert says, to Bob the dinosaur, "Bob, have you ever noticed that the people with the most experience are the ones who die?" Bob says, "No." Ratbert says, "My plan is to spend the rest of my life in an old coffee can, experiencing nothing. Hence, immortality." Dilber says, to Ratber who sits in a coffee can, "How was your first week of immortality?" Ratbert says, "So far, it's overrated."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #sacrificial lamb, #head count vacancy, #budget cut, #shake hands, #get attached

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The boss introduces a new man to Dilbert. The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new sacrifial lamb." The boss says, "I filled our headcount vacancy so we have someone to dump after the next budget cut." The lamb says, "Should we shake hands?" The boss says, "I don't want to get attached."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1999's comic on:


Tags #secret weapon, #lowered glass ceiling, #marry a rich guy

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The Boss approaches Tina and says, "...so Tina, you shouldn't have..." Tina thinks to herself, "I'm in trouble. Must use secret weapon." Tina begins to cry and scream, "WAAH!! WAAH!! Everybody hates me no matter what I do!!" Alice leans over her cubicle and says, "Thanks, that lowered the glass ceiling about a foot." Tina replies, "I plan to marry a rich guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #project budget code, #switching, #code for bald engineers

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Wally walks by Carol's cubicle. Carol says, "Wally, what's your project budget code?" Wally says, "E473" Carol says, "I'm switching you to E947, effective immediatly." Wally says, "Why?" Carol says, "That's my new code for bald engineers." Wally says, "It will grow back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #talk now wally, #meet deadline, #poor planning, #nicknames for cofee, #java wave, #bean brew

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Wwally stands behind Alice's desk. Alice says, "I can't talk now, Wally. I'm rushing to meet my deadline." Wally says, "Sounds like poor planning. Why must I suffer?" Wally says, "Do you mind if I stay here and think up new nicknames for coffee? Java wava... bean brew.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert

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Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1999's comic on:


Tags #all the copies, #bestseller, #house as colleral, #dump, #pay back, #dogbert gets loan

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Caption: "Dogbert gets a loan" Dogbert sits across the desk from a bank executive. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "I plan to buy all the copies of hte book I authored, thus making it a bestseller." Dogbert says, "And I'd like to use your house as collateral. Unless it's a dump." The banker says, "How are you planning to pay us back?" dogbert says, "Do you take books?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1999's comic on:


Tags #customer, #appreciation, #celebration, #thanks goodness, #idiots, #joke

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Alice stands behind Asok who work at his computer. Alice says, "Asok, you've been chosen to head our customer appreciation celebration." Alice says, "The theme is "Thank Goodness there are so many idiots." Dilbert, Wally and Alice eat lunch. Dilbert says, "When do you plan to tell him it's a joke?" Alice says, "Let's see how the posters turn out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 1999's comic on:


Tags #most common metal errors, #hot day, #heel, #add anew category

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Dogbert stands in Dilbert's cubicle with a clipboard. Dogbert says, "In order to save time, I made a checklist of your most common mental errors." Dilbert says, "It'll be a hot day in hell before you need that, my friend." Dogbert looks at the paper and says, "I need a new category."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #coffee cup, #lovely mug, #difference, #cash equivalent, #mug

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The boss holds a cup and says, "Every emplyee gets a lovely mug with our new motto, "I mad a differernce:=." Dilbert sits between Alice and Wally and says, "Question: May I have the cash equivalent of the mug instead?" The boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "May I have a mug that says, "I didn't make a differance"?"