People Love 3d Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for people love 3d comic strips. Discover the best "People Love 3d" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, did you finish the detailed analysis?" "No, I'm more of a big picture kind of guy." "Why didn't you tell me that a week ago when I asked?" "I don't like to disappoint people." "What the @#$% do you think I am now?!" "Hey, I think I'm starting to like disappointing people!"

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Wally's keynote speech "The source of all unhappiness is other people." "The sooner you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy." "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard!" "Hey, it's a talking ottoman! Hee-hee!"

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"Hi, I'm Jeff, the human ashtray." "I like to lean in real close to people so they can enjoy my aroma!" "OW! OW! OW!" "Sounds like someone is getting his ash kicked."

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I have the ability to quantify the unquantifiable. "That is why they call me Dogbert the quantifier." "Who calls you that?" "Eight people."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources "I hired two people to work on your project." "One is a mumbler and the other one is hard of hearing but doesn't know it." "Mmmm, afterglow."

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Share August 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #input, #something came up

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Coworker: Can I get your input by Friday? Wally: Absolutely, unless something comes up. Coworker: How often does something come up? Wally: More than you'd think. Coworker: What exactly are we talking about? Wally: I'd love to chat, but something just came up.

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Share September 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #work ethic, #such back, #due dates, #lazy, #incompetent, #busy, #root cause

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Coworker: I need to give you some push-back on these due dates. Dilbert: No problem. Should I tell the others you're lazy, or incompetent, or in over your head? Coworker: How about just "busy?" Dilbert: Okay. I will insist that people ignore the root cause.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #rich people, #stock market, #victims, #insider training, #victimless crime, #rose bushes, #gardner, #money

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CEO: I did some insider trading and totally got away with it. It felt great! It was a victimless crime so I feel no guilt whatsoever. Dogbert: Do you know what victimless means? CEO: Yes. It's like the time I strangled my gardener for overwatering the rose bushes. Dogbert: I see the problem.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #time travel, #rumour, #apple phone, #20 pixel camera, #picture of thoughts, #time machine, #future, #most handsome man, #android phone

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Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cold desperation, #drab, #grimy habitat, #meaningless, #pile of money, #poor persons, #rich people, #roll in money, #underling

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CEO: Uh-oh. I'm lost and I've wandered into the grimy habitat of an underling. I feel the cold desperation of your drab and meaningless life. I need to roll in money to get the smell off me. Where's the nearest pile?