Boss Made Pass Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Made Pass

View 981 - 990 results for boss made pass comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Made Pass" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twins, #branding, #meeting, #discussion, #brad, #brendan, #identical, #triplets, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This is Brendan and Brandon. They'll be helping us with our ranking. Alice: Im sorry, but I can't get past the ridiculousness of it all, Im out. The Boss: Do you get this a lot? Brendan & Brandon: Its worse when we bring Brad.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #promote, #from within, #downside, #smaller pool, #candidates, #competitors, #ruination

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I like to promote from within. The only downside is that picking from a smaller pool of candidates will make us less capable than our competitors and lead the company to ruination. Do you want that? Dilbert: I see what you're doing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock market, #good investment, #bitter, #last raise, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The stock market is up today. I wonder if this is a good time to get in. Dilbert: If you wait until it goes up even further, then you'll know it's a good investment. Wally: Are you still bitter about your last raise? Dilbert: Not as much as I was a minute ago.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #quantum computer, #prototype, #success, #in between state

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your quantum computer prototype coming along? Wally: Great! The project exists in a simultaneous state of being both totally successful and not even started. Boss: Can I observe it? Wally: That's a tricky question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #lawyers & attorneys, #apps, #contact information, #users address books, #data, #office, #desk, #meeting, #store data, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #service monkey, #questions, #respect, #monkey, #power point slides, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Carl: Im Wally's service monkey, I'll be fielding any questions directed at wally. The Boss: With all due respect, a business meeting is no place for a monkey. Carl: With all due respect, that was a stronger argument before I saw your powerpoint slides.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how-to, #great leader, #book, #errors in book, #disgruntled underling, #existence, #break room

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?