Company Phone Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Company Phone

View 981 - 990 results for company phone comic strips. Discover the best "Company Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #money, #demand, #orders, #rejection

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "The company cut my pay so I'm going to date a co-worker to make up the difference." Alice says, "From now on, one of you will be buying all of my meals and gifts." Wally says, "I'm oddly aroused by your offer." Alice says, "In that case it's not you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #admitting, #criminal, #offer, #bribery, #accepting

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "This week I sold company secrets, did some insider trading, and took kickbacks from vendors." Wally says, "I'll give you a taste if you look the other way." Zip! Dilbert says, "That's unsettling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #auditor, #taxes, #inspection, #confused, #corruption

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Man says, "I'm here to do a tax audit of your company." Dogbert says, "How's that work?" Man says, "I look for reasons to transfer money from small, disreputable entities to a larger one." Man says, "I call my salary vigorish, but it's not as ironic as it once was."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #reading, #taxes, #audit, #ridiculous, #costume

View Transcript

Transcript

Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #rules, #ridiculous, #nervous, #shaking, #worried, #stupidity, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We won a huge government contract." The boss says, "Now we need to follow all of our company policies plus every government procurement rule." Dilbert says, "I feel like I'm being smothered by a damp mattress!" The boss says, "That's what victory feels like!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Environment, #cups, #paper, #hot, #ridiculous, #animal, #shocked, #crazy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #Environment, #confronting, #perception, #hot, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We replaced our styrofoam cups with paper cups, but it's not so clear that it helps the planet." The boss says, "We didn?t do it to help the planet. We did it to look like the sort of company that cares about that sort of thing." DIlbert says, "Oh. In that case it's working great." The boss says, "As soon as you stop whining."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #newsletter, #reading, #ridicule, #Family, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #writing, #newsletter, #ridicule, #angry, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."