Don't Like Leave Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Don't Like Leave

View 981 - 990 results for don't like leave comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Like Leave" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #capitalism, #computer, #chips, #industrial, #giant, #management, #techniques

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "My trip to Elbonia was a complete success." Dilbert continues, "I opened our subsidiary, taught capitalism to the locals and showed them how to make computer chips out of sand." Dogbert replies, "Oh great . . . Now they will become an industrial giant and compete against us." Dilbert says, "Don't worry. I also taught them our management techniques."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #shouting, #dinosaurs, #concealing, #spines, #eating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's this business of you climbing on the roof and shouting when I'm at work?" Dawn the Dinosaur stands next to Bob. Bob replies, "Sorry. We dinosaurs have always been bad at concealing our feelings . . . In fact . . ." Bob continues, "Honesty caused the extinction of many early species." A large dinosaur holds a small dinosaur. The small animal says, "Don't let the spines fool you; I'm great eating!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #mental, #stimulation, #lazy, #knowing, #appreciate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the hall humming. He thinks, "It's one of those days my brain feels lazy." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better avoid any mental stimulation." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert says, "It's times like this I really appreciate knowing you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #computers, #consumerism, #Dilbert, #Fun, #head, #michael, #microchip, #stuck

View Transcript

Transcript

A microchip gives dilbert the tour inside his computer. Michael: ...so you see, it's mostly a trick... We've been sending you subliminal hypnotic suggestions through the video display for years. Dilbert: Like what? Michael: Goofy stuff

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #michael, #microchip, #Dogbert, #arm chair, #reality, #dreams, #electronics, #consumber

View Transcript

Transcript

Michael: ...after you leave you will not remember being inside your computer talking to a microchip. You will purchase worthless computer upgrades and argue that it saves money in the long run. Dilbert: It's a static byte Dwinkelizer... A necessity really.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #cool, #guys, #Women, #miss, #killing, #me, #trash, #dating, #love

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I've noticed that all the cool guys use gentle kidding with women. Women must like it." Dilbert walks up behind a woman and says, "Excuse me, miss, does your face hurt? It's killing me!" Dilbert giggles and snorts. Dilbert is stuffed upside down in a garbage can. Dilbert thinks, "The cool guys must hate it when this happens to them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #exercise, #perfect, #health, #professionally, #cigarettes, #tobacco, #tobacco company

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table in his boxer shorts. The doctor says, "Apparently you ignored my advice and got no exercise." The doctor continues, "But you're in perfect health, which really annoys me professionally." The doctor continues, "I'm prescribing two packs of cigarettes per day . . . Don't cross me again." Dilbert looks at the reader.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #robert, #mike wallace, #unethically, #affair, #randomly chosen, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to become an ambush reporter, like Mike Wallace." Dogbert holds a microphone toward a man carrying a briefcase. Dogbert asks, "Is is true you made all of your money unethically and you're having an affair?" The man covers his face with his hands and cries, "Yes!! Yes!! How did you find me?!" Dogbert replies, "You were chosen randomly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ambush reporter, #Fun, #steroids, #massive, #size, #radio, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks across a field holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "I never realized that being an 'ambush reporter' could be so much fun." Dogbert approaches a football player and asks, "Is it true you used steroids to gain your massive size?" The man says, "No! I swear! I just use this little AM radio. I don't even own a steroid system!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinner, #car, #drive, #woman, #shallow, #difference, #parking lot, #thump, #mighty, #chest

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks a woman, ". . . So, would you like to meet after work and go to dinner?" The woman asks, "What kind of car do you drive?" Dilbert says angrily, "Ugh! You women are all so shallow!! It should not make one bit of difference what kind of car I drive!!" The woman replies, "Except that it will help me find you in the parking lot . . . But you could just stand on top of it and thump your mighty chest."