Don't Shoot Messenger Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Don't Shoot Messenger

View 981 - 990 results for don't shoot messenger comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Shoot Messenger" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2003's comic on:

Tags #respond email, #reply, #vicious cycle, #voice mails

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "You don't respond to my e-mail anymore." The Boss replies, "When I reply to e-mail, it attracts more e-mail. I'm trying to break the vicious cycle." Dilbert says, "Well.. I'll leave you voice-mails." The Boss answers, "Let me know how that works out for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2003's comic on:

Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2003's comic on:

Tags #user requirements, #build system, #some actual work, #crazy talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a client. Dilbert says, "I'll design the system as soon as you give me the user requirements." The client responds, "Better yet, you could build the system, then I'll tell your boss that it doesn't meet my needs." Dilbert says, "I don't mean to frighten you, but you'll have to do some actual work." The client responds, "That's crazy talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2003's comic on:

Tags #actively isleads, #hypocrite, #marketing, #table, #talk to furniture, #tell people, #you mislead cutsomers, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert is standing on a desk, still in his magician's hat. Dilbert says, "You have to stop telling people that you can talk to furniture. It's not right." Dogbert replies, "You work for a company that actively misleads customers. How's that different?" Dilbert says, "We call it marketing, and we don't wear hats." Dogbert responds, "The table says you're a hypocrite."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 02, 2003's comic on:

Tags #enjoy opportunity, #new paranoid employee, #not invied, #plotting, #peri noid, #perimeno

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Peri Noid. Dilbert, Alice, and Peri Noid are sitting. Alice says to Dilbert, "We'll have the data by Tuesday." Peri Noid asks, "How do you know that?" Peri Noid says, "You must be getting invited to meetings and then saying, 'Don't invite Peri.'" Alice turns to Dilbert and asks, "Would it be wrong to enjoy this opportunity?" Peri points her finger and exclaims, "Plotting!! Right there!!!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2003's comic on:

Tags #new guy, #middles part, #forbid, #near work space, #not good people, #1970's called

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert introduces the new coworker to Carol, "Carol, this is our new guy, Harry Middlepart." Harry extends his hand. Carol responds, "I don't approve of your hairstyle. I forbid you to be near my workspace." Carol holds out the phone and yells, "The seventies called. They want their hair back!!" Harry says to Dilbert as they walk away, "She's not good people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2003's comic on:

Tags #mood swings, #deficit, #piece of dirt, #Family, #defect, #defected worker

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a new co-worker to Dilbert, "Dilbert, this is Irene. I don't yet know what her defect is." Irene yells, "Stop being rude to me, you piece of dirt!!!" Irene hugs Dilbert and says, "We're like family now." The Boss says, "I'm thinking: mood swings."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2003's comic on:

Tags #coffee rehadb, #rip beard, #death, #state name, #coffee addicting withdrawl, #sleeping, #mean, #nasty, #cutting, #violent, #falls asleep, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Coffee Rehab. A man stands at a podium and says, "State your name and how long you've been without coffee." The audience is asleep except for one angry patient who says, "I am going to rip off your little beard and beat you to death with it." The man at the podium thinks to himself, "Don't panic... wait... wait...." The angry patient continues, "And then I'll... um... zzzzzzz, zzzzz, zzz."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2003's comic on:

Tags #touch prototype, #get shock, #must touch, #zap, #second time

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is wearing a lab coat and goggles; he's working on a new device. Dilbert says to The Boss, "Don't touch the prototype or you'll get a shock." The Boss thinks, "Must touch." The Boss is shocked into particles, "Zap!!" The Boss is burnt and torn up. Dilbert says, "Don't touch it a second time." The Boss thinks, "Must.. touch.. second.. time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2003's comic on:

Tags #are years ago, #this year, #futire, #free soft drinks, #free coffee, #bottled water

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."