Full Time Employees Comic Strips - Page 99

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1000 Results for Full Time Employees

View 981 - 990 results for full time employees comic strips. Discover the best "Full Time Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company saidst, #fist of death, #note from author, #big bag, #dumpster, #disclaimer, #nothing bad happened

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Extremely angry, Alice approaches the sadist who sits at his computer. She rolls up her sleeves and says, "Okay,sadist, it's time to meet the fist of death. A note from the author forewarns his readers that nothing bad or violent happens to the sadist. The author's note reads: If you are the sort of person who is influenced by comic strips, I assure you nothing bad or violent happens next. Alice and the sadist discuss their differences and become lifelong friends. As Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit together eating lunch, Dilbert asks Alice "What was in that big bag I helped you drag to the dumpster?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part

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Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #random drug tests, #unpleasent, #offer free cashews, #Charlie Brown

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Dilbert reaches for a cup as a Doctor says, "We know these random drug tests are unpleasant for employees." The Doctor holds out a dish and says, "That's why we offer free cashews." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Suddenly I thought of Charlie Brown but I don't know why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #500 with tax, #complains about tax, #morale improvement award, #morale display

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The Boss says aloud, "The five hundred dollar morale improvement award goes to Ed." Shocked, Ed looks at the check and screams "Gaa!! It's only $240 after taxes!!!" Wally says to Dilbert, "So that's what good morale looks like." Dilbert replies, "Apparently we've had it the whole time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #collaboration, #defective, #intranet, #dogbert consults

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Wally says to Dogbert the consultant, "No one uses the intranet collaboration software you sold us." Dogbert replies, "Your employees are defective. I recommend cat scans." Catbert examines Wally's head. "This one is defective too", Catbert says. The Boss yells, "Next in line!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #any errand, #date women, #film, #movies, #ratbert, #thinks wally is hot, #Entertainment

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Ratbert the Concierge Wally: Id like a date with a woman who thinks Im hot. Remember, you promised you would do any errand for employees. Tell me again how hot I am.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company concierge, #diet an dexercise, #doctor appointment, #sleeping at desk, #want pills

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The Boss says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I don't have time for my doctor appointment." The Boss continues, "Go in my place and tell him you're having trouble sleeping at your desk." The Boss says, "And don't let him sweet-talk you about diet and exercise. I want pills.!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #respectfully decline, #join hallucination, #bah, #business

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I heard that you won't give marketing the information they need." Dilbert replies, "I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Your system works." Dogbert repies, "Next time try shortening it to 'Bah'.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #internal clients, #tracking, #fake bills, #helpful

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The Boss says to Wally, "We're going to start tracking our time spent with internal clients." The Boss continues, "I will cleverly send fake bills to other departments to show how helpful we are." Wally replies, "I can't help you. I'm busy with my time sheet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2000's comic on:


Tags #house on fire, #servant, #killing spiders, #wounded flies, #work at home person says, #what family hears

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(What the work-at-home person says.) Dilbert says to Dogbert and Catbert, "Don't disturb me unless the house is on fire." (What the rest of the family hears.) Dilbert continues, "I am your servant. My speciality is killing spiders." (What the spiders hear.) Dilbert says, "The house is full of wounded flies."