No Good Plan Comic Strips - Page 99

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Is it difficult to transition from leading troops in combat life to the corporate life? "WHERE ARE THE PRODUCT SPECS?!!" "The main difference is that it's harder to get good intel."

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"I need you to drop whatever you're doing and work all night to make this change to your system." "If you refuse to do my bidding, here's the rumor I will spread about you." "Ha! I'll say I was only scratching an itch." "Good luck with that."

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"I worry that all of my wisdom is derived from bad analogies." "Ratbert, sometimes a good wine has to age before it is perfect." "So...I'll get smarter over time?" "To the extent that you are like a grape."

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I just saw Mort in his cubicle. I think he's...dead. "I noticed that yesterday." "And you didn't say anything???! Were you thinking he's just as dead tomorrow and someone else can do the paperwork?" "Wait. That's pretty good thinking..." "I was proud of it."

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Flashback: Indian Institute of Technology. "Your telekinesis grades are very good, young Asok." "Always remember that you may not use your powers in front of the ungifted." Present Day "What the...? I just blinked and the last doughnut disappeared!"

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"Wally, if I give you an assignment, what are the odds that you will actually do it right?" "If I put my mind to a task, I do it well." "Will you put your mind to it?" "Wow. Good follow-up question."

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Tags death & dying, insurance, luck, sales, life insurance

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Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: You're making a good decision. Man: Gaaak!

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"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

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"Why don't you answer my e-mails? Do I need to complain to your boss?" "Your messages have too many topics and no paragraph breaks. They are a violation of all that is good and right about e-mail." snork "'Blah, blah, blah, Dilbert is rude...' Geez, I can't even read this mess." click delete

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"Ted, I need you to work late every night until we catch up." "You'll also need to work every weekend." "What about my family?" "They had a good run."