boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company.
dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility.
boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say.
dilbert: why do you trust them over me?
boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief.
dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility!
boss: why would they lie to me?
dilbert: same reason you lie to me.
boss: okay, that makes sense.
salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product.
dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent.
dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved.
salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it.
dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot?
salesman holding out nda toward dilbert.
dilbert: well? do i?
salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.