Something Good Happens Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Something Good Happens
View 981 - 990 results for something good happens comic strips. Discover the best "Something Good Happens" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 21,
2005
Tags #glue stick, #quiet, #chapstick
Transcript
The boss: "Did I leave my chapstick in here? Ooh, there it is." "Tastes different." Wally: "I lost a good glue stick. But I gained a few hours of quiet."
Thursday February 24,
2005
Tags #bonus, #selling stuff, #customer, #can't pay, #sociopath
Transcript
Dilbert: "Today I got a bonus for selling stuff to a customer who probably can't pay." Dogbert: "Does your soda taste any less delicious?" Dilbert: "No." Dogbert: "Congratulations, you're a sociopath." Dilbert: "It feels kinda good."
Friday March 04,
2005
Tags #america, #arrogance, #elbonians, #end of time, #fight you, #fix problems, #what we do
Transcript
In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."
Tuesday March 15,
2005
Tags #fist of death, #alice implicated, #beat up men, #high crime, #area, #office, #picture, #pyramid shaped hair
Transcript
Senior management has decided to move our office out of this high-crime area. "Because every one of them was beaten up in front og the building by a guy with pyramid-shaped hair.'<Br>"Police released this sketch. The guy likes to yell something about a "fist of death.""
Monday March 28,
2005
Tags #emotionally unstable coworkers, #prescribe meds, #wrong choice, #defects
Transcript
Dogbert: All of your problems are caused by emotionally unstable coworkers. "Try prescribing meds from the internet to fix their defects." Dilbert: Okay. That one was the wrong choice. Let's try something else." The Boss: "GRRRR!"
Thursday April 14,
2005
Tags #brand, #company name, #finding a team, #reputation, #new stadium
Transcript
Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."
Monday April 25,
2005
Tags #evil director, #expect raises, #bad ratings, #reflect poorly, #ability to motivate, #useless people, #feel bad
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."
Friday April 29,
2005
Tags #disbale cahe mode, #duplicate key, #engineer, #helping coowrker, #technical work, #understand, #engineering
Transcript
ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."
Monday May 16,
2005
Tags #practical vehicle, #environement, #40 tons, #owls for fuel
Transcript
SALE The boss: "I'm looking for a practical vehicle that's also good for the environment." "I recommend the envirocrusher-4. It weights 40 tons and it uses owls for fuel." The Boss: "Where I would I get that many owls?" "The engine noise stuns them. You just them up off the ground."
Saturday May 21,
2005
Tags #leadership succession plan, #freeze hiring, #staff, #pormotion, #bad idea
Transcript
Catbert: "You have to have a leadership succession plan." "There's a freeze on hiring, so you'll have to pick someone from your staff." Alice: "So, if something horrible happened to you, I'd get a promotion?" The boss: "This was a bad idea."