Work Day Comic Strips - Page 99
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Share October 07, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Thank you all for volunteering for my task force on 'palmtop personal multimedia.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm sure that you all have a common vision about this project . . ." Dogbert continues, "Specifically, you think it will look good on your resumes while being too futuristic to generate any real work." Wally thinks, "Mother lode."
Share October 08, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and says, "Your entire staff volunteered to work on my task force. Now I want them and their budgets transferred to me." The Boss asks, "Why would I agree to that?" Dogbert replies, "If you don't, I'll tell everybody you're not a team player . . . Sign here." The Boss says as he signs, "So . . . Now I'm on the team, right?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah . . . The losing team . . . By yourself."
Share October 15, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I saved the company a fortune by sending the headquarters staff on one-way business trips." Dogbert continues as he types, "They haven't wasted money on any stupid projects all day . . . Now I can leak my strategy to the media and exercise my stock options at the uptick." The caption says, "Somewhere in Iowa." Dilbert stands in front of a farm and a dog growls at him. Dilbert says to a woman who is pointing a rifle at him, "Uh . . . I'm here for a meeting." The woman asks, "Did anybody see you?"
Share October 18, 1993's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "I just realized I can double your workload and there's nothing you can do about it." The Boss continues, "You're lucky to have jobs in today's economy! You'll gladly sacrifice your personal lives for no extra pay!" Dilbert replies, "But at least our hard work will lead to promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "You're so cute. I wish I had a camera right now."
Share October 19, 1993's comic on:
The Boss says, "Alice, it has come to my attention that you are spending time with your family at night." The Boss continues, "That's time that could be used productively to do work for no extra pay." Alice asks, "Do YOU have a family?" The Boss replies, "Hmm . . . That would explain the people in my house . . ."
Share October 20, 1993's comic on:
Alice says to the Boss, "I can't keep working these long hours . . . I deserve a family life." The Boss says, "Alice, Alice, Alice . . ." The Boss says, "This isn't the 'me' generation of the eighties. This is the 'lifeless nineties.' I expect 178 hours of work from you each week." Alice says, "There are only . . . Uh, 168 hours in a week." The Boss replies, "I expect your family to chip in a few hours."
Share November 01, 1993's comic on:
The Boss points to a wall of circular openings and tells Dilbert, "I borrowed a Japanese work custom - sleeping tubes!" The Boss explains, "No more wasted time commuting. If you keel over from exhaustion we'll just cram you into a sleep tube." Dilbert asks, "Which tube is mine?" The Boss replies, "You don't get a personal tube unless you're employee of the week."
Share November 02, 1993's comic on:
The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."
Share November 16, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. As Dilbert assembles a device, Dogbert says, "I was wondering if you could build a phaser pistol so I can zap the many fools I encounter every day." Dogbert continues, "Nothing lethal, just enough to make them twitch wildly and scream. It would be fun." Dilbert says, "That wouldn't be very nice to the fools." Dogbert replies, "I just think you guys should provide more value to society."
Share December 01, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert, Matt and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert tells Matt, "This is called a 'meeting.'" Dilbert explains, "The objective is twofold: talk as much as possible and leave with no new assignments." Dilbert and Matt leave the meeting. Matt carries a stack of folders. Dilbert pats him on the back and says, "That's okay . . . I thought your talking went very well."