Work To Death Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for work to death comic strips. Discover the best "Work To Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lord, #master, #worthless cretin, #telemarketing, #voice mail

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the couch. Dogbert dials a number on the telephone. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert, your lord and master! Submit to my will, you worthless cretin!" Dilbert uses the remote control to change the TV channel. Dilbert asks, "Does telemarketing work for that sort of thing?" Dogbert replies, "You'll know tomorrow; that was your voice mail."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broke herd, #dancer, #do your stuff, #flirting, #powerful, #woman, #chick magnet

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Dilbert, wearing a jogging suit, sits in the grass. He says to Dogbert, "If you're such a chick magnet, let's see you do your stuff." Dogbert says, "Okay. I'll wag. They love that." Dilbert says, "It's working! You broke one out of the herd. She'd coming this way." Dogbert says, "Be careful. I don't know how powerful this is." Dilbert grumbles. A cute girl sits next to Dogbert and says, "I'll bet you work out a lot. I'm a dancer." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #task force, #recruit, #smartest college seniors, #lie often, #real life experince, #meetings, #parties

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The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recruiting on campus, #twelve comapnies, #copies, #resume, #true tables, #interview, #interviewee

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Recruiting on Campus The female college student says, "I have better offers from twelve companies. Whay should I work at yours?" Dilbert stares blankly. The college student walks away, "I'll see what I can do for you." Dilbert says, "Do you have enough copies of my resume?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #masters degress, #top colleges, #new hires

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The Boss says, "From now on, we'll only hire people with masters degrees from the top colleges." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at the conference table. Wally says,"I don't have a masters degree from a top college. I'm insulted by this new policy." The Boss holds up a picture of Wally with a line above his head. The Boss says, "And new hires must be this tall to work here." Wally yells, "HEY!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #go home early, #exempt employee, #unimportant document, #shuffle around, #quiet desparation

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Asok says, "I finished all my work. Can I go home early?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss explains, "You're an 'exempt' employee. That means you're exempt from having a life." Asok says, "I guess I could clench an unimportant document and shuffle around in quiet desperation." The Boss says, "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #brilliant, #ineffciency, #procrastination

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Alice says, "We'll probably have to work all night on this presentation, Asok." Asok says, "That's brilliant! You plan to use your inefficiency to make your procrastination look like martyrdom!" Alice says, "Now I have to kill you." Asok says, "Please do. Reincarnation is my only hope."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contract employees, #evil totalitarian, #military technology, #north elbonia, #project, #regime, #top secret

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illogical scientist, #software, #prove a negative, #trained scientist, #involve electric shocks, #engineering

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Asok is working at his computer. dan walks up behind him and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist. That software you're writing will never work, and I can prove it." Asok says, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not logically possible to prove something can't be done." Dan points to himself with his thumb and says, "It's impossible for most people, but I'm a trained scientist." Asok says, "Did the training involve electric shocks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free thursday, #surprise party, #flowers, #Card, #snowballed, #good taste, #karaoke

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Carol, the Boss's secretary, is taking wirting in a note pad. She says to Wally, "Are you free on Thursday for Ted's surprise party?" Wally says, "Party? You don't give a party for someone who has a death in the family." Carol says, "Well... we got him a card, then flowers. It just snowballed." Wally says, "I assume this will all be in good taste." Carol says, "I can't promise that. Karaoke is really hit or miss."