Boss's Desk Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss's Desk

View 981 - 990 results for boss's desk comic strips. Discover the best "Boss's Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat you alive, #do my bidding, #boss's pet

View Transcript

Transcript

"For a boss's pet, you're nice." "I see no reason to be unkind." "Buwhahaha! We're alone now, nerdling! Do my bidding or I will eat you alive!!!" "They always forget to factor in your head size."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career criminal, #appkying, #job, #tendonitis, #pistol whipping arm, #slower paced, #lifel, #embezzle, #job security, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Your resume says you're a career criminal. "Yup." "Um...why are you applying for a job here?" "I'm getting tendonitis in my pistol-whipping arm." "I thought I'd try the slower paced life of white collar crime." "Security." "How much can I expect to embezzle in my first year?" "Earl?" "Lefty!" "Forget this job. Security is where the big money is." "Can you get me in?" "I should start locking my desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #art, #modern art, #nonsense, #taste, #culture

View Transcript

Transcript

Famous artist Dogberto will tell us his plans for our lobby. "I plan to buy a drop cloth at Home Depot and drape it over the security desk." "Won't that be hard on the guard?" "Not until I douse it with gas and light it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I have to let you go..." "Well, this was bound to happen." "I guess someone told you that I e-mailed our CEO and said you think his daughter looks like a chimp." "Or is it because I built a guest house from stolen office supplies?" "Maybe it's because you found out that I've been taking a dollar out of your desk every day for seven years." "Actually, I was trying to say I have to let you go to a training class." "Is it someplace nice?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Exit Interview "And what is your reason for leaving?" "To be honest, I was spending way too much time thinking about creative ways to kill you." "Have you cleared out your desk?" "Why don't you go check."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

What happens if I add the lies from marketing to my boss's assumptions...then factor in some reality? KABOOM! "Stupid reality."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales engineer, #making sale, #install, #few extra features, #massage table, #sprawl, #get naked

View Transcript

Transcript

Sales Engineer Sales engineer: I did the hard part of making the sale. All you have to do is install it. I might have promised them a few extra features. Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Have you signed Ted's get well card yet? "Don't leave that here. Ted passed away two weeks ago. How long have you had the card on your desk?" "Have you signed Ted's get well card yet?" "Put it on the pile."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."