Dont Pay Enough Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Pay Enough

View 981 - 990 results for dont pay enough comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Pay Enough" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #empowered button, #life in one package, #refusal, #enforced, #empowered to wear button

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Asok and Wally, "Every employee will wear a button that says 'I'm Empowered.'" Asok responds, "I don't want to." The Boss says, "You have to." Asok and Wally walk away wearing their pins. Wally says, "That was everything you need to know about life in one package."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skills inventory, #transfer jobs, #check boxes, #hazmat section

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally asks Asok, "Have you completed your skills inventory?" Asok responds, "I'm submitting it now." Wally says, "They use that information to transfer you to jobs you don't want." Wally continues, "You'll be okay as long as you didn't check any of the boxes in the hazmat section." Asok clenches his fists and says, "Stupid stupid stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need to know, #basis, #crawl space, #underhouse, #news, #don't believe news, #fake news

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting on his couch. Dogbert approaches and says, "I'm putting you on a strict 'need to know' basis." Dogbert continues, "And stay out of the crawl space under the house." Dogbert continues, "And don't believe anything you see in the news for about six months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonians, #classified ad, #nuclear war head, #russian craftsmanship, #third world countries, #slingshot, #hundred yards

View Transcript

Transcript

Two Elbonians show up at Dilbert's house door. Dogbert opens. An Elbonian says, "We saw your classified ad for a nuclear warhead." Dogbert says, "It's genuine Russian craftsmanship, ideal for menacing other third-world countries." An Elbonian responds, "Sweet." An Elbonian holds the warhead and says, "Our slingshot can fling this a hundred yards. Is that enough?" Dogbert looks at their briefcase full of money and says, "That's plenty."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #errors, #flatter yourself, #forward to friends, #idiot boss, #spelling, #mass email

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss types, "Trie to be moor prophesional in your commudicashuns." Dilbert and Wally read the email. Dilbert giggles at his computer, "Hee Hee!" Wally says, "Let's forward it to all our friends so they can see what an idiot we work for." Dilbert says, "But you're my only friend." Wally replies, "Don't flatter yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #water company, #pipe water, #toothpaste, #turn faucet, #pudding, #meteor

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "If the water company can pipe water to my house, why can't the toothpaste company do the same?" The Boss continues, "The toothpaste factory should have a pipe to every home so you can turn a faucet..." The Boss continues, "And don't even get me started about pudding." Dilbert hits his fists together and thinks, "Meteor, meteor, meteor, meteor."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #least expensive vendor, #requirements, #change mid project, #lowest bid, #fired later, #fired mid project, #outplacement service, #every sale

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a business associate. The business associate says, "We're the least expensive vendor unless your requirements change mid- project." Dilbert responds, "So... I'll get fired if I don't select the lowest bid, or I'll be fired later when the bills for change orders pour in." Dilbert says, "I prefer to be fired mid-project." The business associate replies, "We offer outplacement service with every sale."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #20% pay cuts, #downsize, #sounds promising

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "You can take 20% pay cuts or I'll have to downsize one of you." The Boss continues, "I know you're like a family but... Yes, Wally?" All of the coworkers are pointing at Wally. Wally doesn't know. He says, "Tell us more about the pay cut. That sounds promising."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #good news, #promoting work, #pay and title, #Promotion, #scaring me

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Good news, Dilbert. I'm promoting you to more work!" The Boss continues, "It's the same pay and title. But it must be good because I called it a promotion and I'm smiling!" The Boss forces a severe smile and says, "Still..smiling..good...news..." Dilbert responds, "You're scaring me."