Lost Free Will Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Lost Free Will

View 981 - 990 results for lost free will comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Free Will" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags protective employees, question, resoning, fox, chickens, across river, rowboat, eat chickens, livestock insurance, blame the fox, barbecue chickens

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I ask all prospective employees this question to test their reasoning." "You have one fox and two chickens that you need to get across a river. You can only take one at a time in the rowboat. The fox will eat the chickens if left alone." "I'd buy livestock insurance, then barbecue the chickens and blame the fox." Boss: "Can you start today?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accidentally eat, apple core, care values, customer service, respect, stem is loyalty, teamwork, apple product

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intern, cheap boss, full size cubicle, half size, cubicle, treats poorly, no budget, garbage can, misunderstand

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags feet off desk, random mangement, stock rise, so random, commands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Take your feet off the desk." Dilbert: "Is this an example of random management or do you think it will make our stock rise?" The Boss: "It's up .02%. Heh-heh-heh, not so random after all."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags obliterate connection, my perfromance, my rewards, 3d objects

View Transcript

Transcript

The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags worry, paranoid beaver, productivity rewarded, alice, merger, boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice : My strategy is to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger. Surely my productivity will be noticed and rewarded when the downsizing begins, Man: and who is alice? The Boss: Im pretty sure thats the bald guy with glasses.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gaga gift money, upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements promotions, collecting money, bag of moeny, flush, toilet involved, more effcient, sectional sofa

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I'm collecting money for miscellaneous gag gifts." "We've got upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements, promotions, blah, blah, blah." "I'm collecting all of the gag gift money in advance." "Then I'll take the bag of money and flush it down the toilet." "That will be the gag. It's funny because a toilet is involved." "So you can either give me $100 now or I'll be back twenty times at $5 a pop." "You can't resist the siren call of a more efficient process. Give it up, engineer-boy!" "Hello, sectional sofa!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation project, lie, no phone service, new jobs, look for new jobs, not going well

View Transcript

Transcript

"The office relocation project is proceeding without any problems whatsoever." "GAAA!!! IT'S A LIE!!! OUR POSSESSIONS WILL BE LOST AND WE WILL HAVE NO PHONE SERVICE!!!" "I don't mean to worry anyone, but you should look for new jobs right away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation, procedures, wrong cubicle, easily stealable, move computer, rules and regulations, company rules

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation., new cubicle, less roomy, need butter, torso, slide in, attracts rats, cheap, low budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.