Make Decision Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Make Decision
View 981 - 990 results for make decision comic strips. Discover the best "Make Decision" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 30,
2014
Tags #public speaking, #powerpoint, #technology, #competition, #industry, #one slide, #presentation, #meeting, #investors, #business
Transcript
Boss: I need you to make a PowerPoint deck for my meeting with investors. I'll be telling them everything I know about technology, competition, and the industry. Dilbert: So... just the one slide? Boss: Huh? Dilbert: How big do these fonts go?
Monday May 12,
2014
Tags #frustration, #vacations, #work harder, #no vacation, #boss, #time off, #employee
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.
Friday May 30,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #medicines, #more motivated, #competetive, #safe and natural, #side effects, #psychopathy, #improved dating life, #needle, #injection
Transcript
Boss: I found a quick way to make you more motivated and competitive. I know it's safe because it's all natural. The only known side effects are psychopathy and an improved dating life.
Sunday June 08,
2014
Tags #criminals, #office workers, #work ethic, #cesspool, #horrible office conditions, #better choices, #career criminal
Transcript
Dilbert: What's your son doing here? Coworker: Today is 'Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day." The idea is to show kids how horrible it is to work in an office. That way, they can make better choices and avoid a life like ours. Dilbert: Just out of curiosity, who told you this is "Bring Your Kid To The Cesspool Day?" Coworker: Wally. Oh. Child: I've decided to become a career criminal. Dilbert: Good luck with all of that.
Friday June 13,
2014
Tags #chocolate, #dark chocolate, #think better, #scientific sense, #magical thinking
Transcript
Boss: Here's some dark chocolate. Studies show it makes you think better. Dilbert: Why are you suddenly doing things that make scientific sense, instead of your usual magical thinking? Boss: I just ate three pounds of dark chocolate. Dilbert: Wow. It works fast.
Monday June 16,
2014
Tags #efficiency experts, #wide transformation, #compettetive, #solutions, #pay the most, #consultants, #recommendations
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has recommended a company-wide transformation to make us more competitive. Dilbert: Is it a coincidence that consultants always recommend solutions that pay their firms the most? Boss: How would I know? Dogbert: I'll look into that for you.
Monday June 30,
2014
Tags #frustration, #hypocrisy, #mandatory training, #no use, #meetings, #regulatory paperwork, #make a point, #productive
Transcript
Boss: You didn't accomplish anything this month. Dilbert: Sure I did. I did the mandatory training that has no use, attended your mandatory meetings that don't help, and filled out regulatory paperwork for things we don't do. Boss: Are you trying to make a point? Dilbert: Nope. Just being productive.
Wednesday July 02,
2014
Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #son to work, #Advice, #age, #idiots, #career decisions, #expecting, #unforeseen problems, #business
Transcript
Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.
Monday July 07,
2014
Tags #computers & peripherals, #frustration, #inventions, #no sense, #standard turing test, #upset, #company strategy
Transcript
Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.
Friday July 18,
2014
Tags #laziness, #money, #billion dollars, #stop working, #self defeating
Transcript
Dilbert: If you made a billion dollars, would you stop working? Wally: How would I make a billion dollars? Dilbert: You would have to start working. Wally: It seems sort of self-defeating.