New Office Rebel Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Office Rebel

View 981 - 990 results for new office rebel comic strips. Discover the best "New Office Rebel" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2006's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #design, #communication, #miscommunication, #manufacturing, #obliviousness, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

We ship our new mp3 player in two days. How's the Elbonian factory coming along? "The prototype is the size of a small tractor and it will only play Elbonian polkas." "I'll budget a little extra for marketing." "It's made of asbestos."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Topper "I had to carry over three weeks of vacation." "That's nothing!" "I carried over so much time that they had to create a new month and name it after me!" "Shut your pie hole!" "It looks as if someone is having a bad topperuary."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I have to let you go..." "Well, this was bound to happen." "I guess someone told you that I e-mailed our CEO and said you think his daughter looks like a chimp." "Or is it because I built a guest house from stolen office supplies?" "Maybe it's because you found out that I've been taking a dollar out of your desk every day for seven years." "Actually, I was trying to say I have to let you go to a training class." "Is it someplace nice?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2006's comic on:


Tags #new vice president, #billon dollars, #garbage barge, #oceanfront realestate, #open business, #barge

View Transcript

Transcript

"I worked all year on a project that got canceled today because we got a new vice president who didn't like it." "I made a billion dollars by convincing suckers that a garbage barge was oceanfront real estate." "Would you lend me some money so I can open my own business." "No, but I know some people on a barge who would."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Good news, Carol: The new office supply catalog is here!" "If you leaf through it and imagine that you can order things, you'll get a mild shopper's high." OFFICE "Now...I know how much you hate the phrase 'in lieu of a raise'..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Mister Serdecisions." "Call me Lou." "Can you cover for me tomorrow while I put shelf paper in my kitchen cabinets?" "Tomorrow is our project kickoff meeting." "Good lord, man! I can't put dishes on wood?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Patty the Amplifier and Distorter "We got a proposal from a new vendor today." "DILBERT LOVES THE NEW VENDOR HE THINKS THAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES IS AN IDIOT!" "That's not what..." "HE'S HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE SALES REP!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"What the...? How can you be relaxed with so much work to do?" "Your mistake is taking pride in how much work you can complete." "You see, Alice, there's an infinite quantity of potential work." "But it's only possible to do a finite amount." "You have set yourself up for certain failure according to your own arbitrary standard." "By way of contrast, I take pride in not taking pride in my work." "I've already achieved my goal and it's not even lunch time yet." "Don't you need a new goal for after lunch?" "I'm aiming for a distended stomach."