New Plan Comic Strips - Page 99
1000 Results for New Plan
View 981 - 990 results for new plan comic strips. Discover the best "New Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 19, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert's moral compass is damaged. Dilbert says, "My new job is to make employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "Here's a chart that shows the sort of women that are attracted to men at various salary ranges." Dilbert says, "Trophy wives are at the top, obviously, and down in your range we have the carnival skanks."
Share July 21, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."
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Share August 23, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"
Share September 06, 2008's comic on:
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Share September 09, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Share September 12, 2008's comic on:
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Share September 14, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "We have a little problem with our new cell phone product." "It gives off a form of radiation that has a negative effect on the user." Dilbert says, "How bad is it?" The Boss says, "Well, it makes your head turn red, and you lose weight." A person says, "Hey, what is up with our new cell phone? I feel different." A janitor says, "Can I borrow your friend?" The Boss says, "I don't see why not." The person says, "AAAIII!!!" GLUB GLUB GLUB The Boss says, "Anyway, see if you can put a positive spin on that."
Share September 30, 2008's comic on:
An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."
Share October 03, 2008's comic on:
Wally says, "I got an Elbonian makeover. Now no one can tell I'm bald and chinless." Wally says, "The hat even makes me look taller. I think this will help my career." Wally says, "Take a minute to drink this in." An Elbonian says, "I just found my new VP of finance!"