One You Of Ten Comic Strips - Page 99
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
1000 Results for One You Of Ten
View 981 - 990 results for one you of ten comic strips. Discover the best "One You Of Ten" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 26,
2004
Tags #spreadsheet for accuracy, #impenetrable jumble, #poorly organized, #cryptic labels, #simple document, #ratio of returns, #sales taxes, #roprtgresta, #organizing, #taxes, #coulumns
Transcript
"Can you check my spreadsheet for accuracy?" "It's an impenetrable jumble of poorly organized data with cryptic labels." "I only need you to check it for accuracy." "I don't think accuracy matters if no one can tell what it's for." "Sheesh! Let me expain this document!" "This column is the ratio of product returns to gross revenue excluding sales taxes, annualized." "it's clearly labeled "ROPRTGRESTA."" "What about the other 80 columns?" "What the #*%!?" "And Dilbert found no inaccuracies."
Thursday December 30,
2004
Tags #tell vendor, #combination, #lack of importance, #total insignificant
Transcript
Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"
Tuesday January 11,
2005
Tags #stock - picking software, #more feauture, #make hair grow, #bald guys, #test on rat, #butticks
Transcript
Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."
Thursday January 13,
2005
Tags #mark terrotory, #wireless internet option, #change to prototype
Transcript
The boss: I must mark my terrtoy by insisting on a change to the prototype. The Boss: "Give it a wireless internet option." Dilbert: "It already had one." The Boss: "What doesn't it have?" Dilbert: "An idiot designing it."
Sunday January 16,
2005
Tags #certified massage therapist, #clicking, #every week, #few minutes, #lengthy questionarie, #one hand, #pen pal, #used pen
Transcript
Certified Massage Therapist "Fill out this lengthy medical questionnaire." "That'll save me a few minutes of touching him." "I wonder if he'd know if I only used one hand." "Actually, how would he even know if it's a hand?" "Maybe I have an object here that feels like a hand." "This ballpoint pen will work." "I'm finding some tension here. Okay, it's gone now." "She says I should come back every week until my muscles stop clicking." "Sounds like you found a pen pal."
Sunday January 23,
2005
Tags #change is good, #triple pay, #meeting, #work for free, #change can be bad, #slogans, #logic, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "You must learn that change is good." Change is :) "Any questoins?" Wally: "Who wants this one?" Dilbert: "I got it." "Question: Why don't you triple our pay? That would be a change." The Boss: "That would not be in the best interst of shareholders." Dilbert: "Okay, why don't you work for free? That's a change that's good for shareholders." "Or would it be better to admit that change can be very bad?" Wally: "My favorite part was when he yelled, "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"" Dilbert: "Snort hee-hee!!!"
Sunday February 06,
2005
Tags #ceo visist, #donuts, #taste test, #all donuts, #dont panic, #fix donuts, #screaming, #fresh and delicious
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, I want to be certain that everything is perfect for the CEO's visit." "Check the doughnuts to make sure that they're fresh and delicious." Later Carol: Mmm... This one is okay." "How can I be sure this isn't the one good doughnut in the batch." "I'll have to taste every one of them." The Boss: "CAROL!!!" Carol: "Don't panic. I can fix this." "This is odd: Most of my doughnut is delicious, but one part tastes like gum."
Saturday February 12,
2005
Tags #bob, #Dilbert, #blackberry phone, #dinosuar, #ate phone
Transcript
Dilbert: "Bob, I bought you a Blackberry so I can send you e-mail day or night." Bob: "Thank you! I always wanted one of these!" "De-e-licious."
Sunday February 27,
2005
Tags #deadline, #upcoming, #annual performance review, #finish on time, #agree to disagree, #no raise, #excuses, #disrespect for workers, #annual review, #not paying, #not fare wages
Transcript
"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."
Sunday March 06,
2005
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #assistant manager, #simialr, #slightly worse, #wouldn't be threat, #data base, #both hideous, #criminally insane, #hate cats, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."