Taxpayers Give Money Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Taxpayers Give Money

View 981 - 990 results for taxpayers give money comic strips. Discover the best "Taxpayers Give Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #employee, #Advice, #health, #wellness, #money, #cost, #work ethic, #fatigue, #Family, #marriage, #support, #insult, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #personality, #type, #introvert, #dominant, #submissive, #interpersonal, #relationship, #coworkers, #conflict, #argument, #competent, #magic, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: The reason we keep having conflicts is because of our personality types. You're an impulsive, dominant personality and I am more of a... Alice: Useless waste of space? Coworker: I was going to say I'm a reserved, introspective, people-pleaser. One personality type is not better than the another. We just see things differently. Alice: How do you explain the fact that I have never had a conflict with anyone who is competent. Coworker: Give me a minute to reflect on that. Alice: Let me know when you're done believing in magic.

Employees Should Be Optimists

Thank you for voting.
Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #optimism, #optimist, #work ethic, #gullible, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Value Of A Start Up Idea

Thank you for voting.
Value Of A Start Up Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #money, #start-up, #business, #worth, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea for a start-up company. All I need is a seed investor and an engineer to do all the work. Alice: I believe the economic term for what you have is "nothing."

Writing Code In Spare Time

Thank you for voting.
Writing Code In Spare Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #start-up, #labor, #free, #money, #trick, #bully

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Maybe you can help write some code in your spare time for my side project. Dilbert: Are you using your power to bully me into working for your start-up for free? Boss: You can also invest in it. Dilbert: Not better!

Dilbert's Project Is Late

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert's Project Is Late - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #raise, #wages, #money, #salary, #catch-22, #anger, #frustration, #labor, #review

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because you didn't finish your project on time. Dilbert: That's because you make me work on your personal project half of every day. Boss: You have to learn to say no. Dilbert: I've never wanted to kill you more than right now.

Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry

Thank you for voting.
Boss Hoards Gold Unless Hungry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gold, #apocalypse, #money, #Food, #priorities, #hunger, #fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You'll be sorry when the world economy collapses. But I'll be okay because I hoarded gold at my house. Alice: On day two, you'll trade all of it for a sandwich. Boss: Only if I'm hungry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Ceo Compensation

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Compensation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #money, #worth, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #fair, #pay, #expenses, #saving, #rich people, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.