Wally Clipping Nails Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Wally Clipping Nails
View 981 - 990 results for wally clipping nails comic strips. Discover the best "Wally Clipping Nails" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 06,
2000
Tags #single cell organism, #new hire, #break room, #pretending
Transcript
Wally: So, I hear you're a single cell organism. Whats up with that? Alice: The new guy is rolling into a ball and shedding water. Dilbert: Been there.
Friday September 08,
2000
Tags #uninterrupted, #productivity, #crumbs in sink, #black sheep
Transcript
Dilbert thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, "Today I will know the joy of uninterrupted productivity." Wally approaches Dilbert with a cup of coffee in hand and says, "We're forming a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink." Dilbert replies, "I assume it's you." Wally answers, "We need more black sheep around here."
Sunday September 10,
2000
Tags #mapped genome, #hr dept, #had resources, #pencil, #technology, #predictions from genes, #genome, #dna, #work perfromance, #traits, #violation of rights
Transcript
Catbert approaches Wally and says, "I mapped your genome Wally." Wally replies, "I didn't know the human resources department had that technology." Catbert responds, "I used a pencil." Wally says to Catbert, "Your genes predict that you will be a bitter, lazy, caucasian guy with six hairs and poor vision." Catbert answers, "You'll hate cubicles, measurable objectives, and cats who map your genome." Wally says to Catbert, "This is a violation of my right to privacy! I'll fight it all the way to the Supreme Court." Catbert responds, "No, according to my map, you'll lose interest and fall asleep." Catbert says to Wally as he sleeps, "I wonder if this technology will ever fall into the wrong hands."
Tuesday September 12,
2000
Tags #emergency flashlight, #plays flashilights, #jedi, #starwars, #immature
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "I hid the emergency flashights so no one can play with them." Wally replies, "Who plays with flashlight? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." As Wally and Dilbert leaves, the Boss thinks to himself "The short Jedi will die first."
Wednesday September 13,
2000
Tags #email, #email monkey, #feeling of self worth, #quit whenever
Transcript
Sitting at his computer, Asok thinks to himself "Send. Ooh!" Asok thinks to himself, "I get a tiny feeling of self-worth when I send e-mail to my boss." Dilbert says to Wally, loud enough for Asok to hear, "Looks like someone has an e-mail monkey on his back." Asok replies, "I can quit whenever I want!"
Monday September 18,
2000
Tags #fun organization, #rubber chicken, #hurt so much
Transcript
The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "From now on, this is going to be a fun organization." Wally asks the Boss, "When are you leaving?" The meeting ends and Wally and Dilbert are leaving the room. Wally's glasses are broken and he looks like he's been ruffed up a little. Wally says to Dilbert, "I had no idea that a rubber chicken could hurt so much."
Saturday September 23,
2000
Tags #key to success, #really fast, #speed, #ok to fail
Transcript
Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."
Sunday September 24,
2000
Tags #angle, #central cubicle commitee, #floaty device, #guidelines!, #shift, #stapled, #wally pool
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle adjusting his computer. A man with a strange hat comes in and says, "Halt!" The man continues, "You moved your computer without approval from the central cubicle committee." Dilbert touches the computer screen again and says, "I was simply adjusting the angle." The man in the strange hat gasps. The man throws up his arms and says, "Fool! It will cost $200 for a team of technicians to move it back." Dilbert holds up his plant and says, "It's better this way so my plant won't fall off." The man looks on appalled. The man screams, "We have guidelines!!" Dilbert says, "I know. I stapled them to my wall." Wally sits on float in his cubicle, which is filled to the top with water. Dilbert says, "You'd be surprised what isn't allowed."
Tuesday September 26,
2000
Tags #bought cisco, #cardboard box, #dogcart consults, #entrepreneurial, #misdialed bookie, #revive spirt
Transcript
The caption reads: "Dogbert consults." Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "You can revive the entrepreneurial spirit here by reminding people of the early years." Dogbert points to a picture of two homeless people. He says, "Your founders were two men who began in a cardboard box." Dogbert stands in front of the room of employees and says, "One bum midialed his bookie and accidently bought Cisco stock at the IPO."
Saturday September 30,
2000
Tags #bags of crud, #highly valued, #stock options, #worth a fortune, #worthless, #shut up
Transcript
Wally approaches the Boss sitting at his desk reading the paper. Wally says, "My stock options are worth a fortune now, you miserable bag of crud!" The Boss types something in his computer and says, "Oh, look, they're back down to worthless." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit eating lunch. Dilbert says, "Try telling him that bags of crud are highly valued in some societies." Wally says, "Shut up."