Why Don't We Format Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for why don't we format comic strips. Discover the best "Why Don't We Format" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #raises, #more pay, #mathy, #don't get mathy

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The Boss: Don't feel bad if you only got a 3% raise; I only got 2% myself. Alice: "Can we feel bad that 2% if your pay is bigger than 3% of our pay?" The Boss: "Don't get all mathy on me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #watch my shows, #invite me over, #cable, #pulled, #bug in salad

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Dilmon: "While you're here, be a dear and run some CAT-5 to my walk-in closet so I can watch my shows when I'm in there." Dilbert: "I've notived that you only invite me over when you need a cable pulled." Dilmon: "I don't want to put a bug in your salad, but I will." Dilbert: "I'm glad we had this talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #expect raises, #bad ratings, #reflect poorly, #ability to motivate, #useless people, #feel bad

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: "Don't rate any employees "excellent" because then they'd deserve raises." "Don't give any bad ratings either because it would reflect poorly on your ability to hire and motivate people." The boss: "How will I make the useless people feel bad if I'm rating them "good"?" Catbert: "Try using this scowl."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2005's comic on:


Tags #rated good, #you're not good, #company policy, #fire anyone, #hiring freeze, #get paid

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The Boss: "Wally, I'm rating you "good" but not because you are." "Company policy says I have to fire anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire." "So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone." wally: "I can't promise that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #technical glitch, #humble, #condescending engineer, #teach you to ask, #drinking beer, #study english, #sorry

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Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."

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Share April 29, 2005's comic on:


Tags #disbale cahe mode, #duplicate key, #engineer, #helping coowrker, #technical work, #understand, #engineering

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ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #inspirational, #failed to motivate, #cowowrkers, #sabotage career

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Wally; "Once again you have failed to motivate me." Wally: "I don't want to become like my coworkers, always plotting ways to sabotage your career." Wally: "Now would be a good time for you to say something inspirational."

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Share May 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #sharing cubicle, #one chair, #sit on lap, #star trek

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I hope you don't mind that I'll be sharing your cubicle. "Umm...I don't mind." "There's only one chair. Do you mind if I sit on your lap?" "Umm...I don't mind. I can't imagine how this could be better." "Which one of the Star Trek series did you like best?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no budeget, #give raisem, #business trip las vegas, #four million, #bathrub, #flooded five floors, #bartenders

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The Boss: "Don't blame me, but there's no budget to give you a raise this year." Alice: "Why not?" The boss: "My business trip to Las Vegas cost four million dollars because I passed out in the bathtub with the water running and flooded five floors." The boss; "The bartenders there are totally irresponsible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #resources, #do job, #how now, #brown cow

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Dilbert: "I don't have enough resources to do my job." The Boss: "Isn't that like saying, "How now brown cow"?" Dilbert: "You think things can't get worse, but they can."