Asks Customer Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Asks Customer

View 981 - 990 results for asks customer comic strips. Discover the best "Asks Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meets goal, #quarter, #save head, #big imporvement, #save money, #haircut, #double goal, #less experinced, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert and announces, "If the department meets its goal for the quarter you can shave my head!" Dilbert says, "That would be a big improvement." Wally says, "He's trying to save money on a haircut." Someone asks, "If we double our goal can we iron your shirt, too?" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing email, #protest new policy, #empty trash, #highly paid engineers, #unproductive tsak, #inventing the future, #quality faire

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #janitor expenses, #empty trash, #new employee fitness, #trashercise

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits in front of Catbert's desk. The Boss asks, "I have to cut janitor expenses. Do you think I'll have any HR issues if I make employees empty their own trash?" Catbert answers, "We'll soften the bad news by simultaneously introducing a new employee fitness program . . ." Dilbert and Alice stand outside a row of cubicles. The janitor shouts, "Okay, everybody, it's time to trashercise!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee benefits, #eyegalsses, #support new vision, #radila keratotomy, #squinting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Catbert and Wally are sitting at a conference table. Catbert says, "As director of human resources I've been asked to reduce the cost of employee benefits." Catbert says, "The company will no longer pay for eyeglasses. But we WILL support a new vision-correction procedure." Dilbert asks, "Radial Keratotomy?" Catbert answers, "Squinting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #quitting, #contract emplyee, #Advice, #sleep in doorways, #hunk of coradboard, #co workers, #food stamps, #not edible

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice sits at her desk with her back to Wally. Wally asks, "Alice, I'm thinking about quitting and becoming a contract employee. Do you have any advice?" Alice replies, "Sleep in doorways so it doesn't rain on you. The best shopping carts are at 'Lucky.' You can make an excellent sign with black marking pen and a hunk of cardboard." Wally walks away from Alice's cubicle and says, "I hate all of my co-workers." Alice says, "Despite the name, food stamps are NOT edible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inspirational poster, #animal research, #beautiful scene, #nightly eagle swoop

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new inspirational psoter, #inspired, #see front, #win win

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss holds a poster in front of his face. He says to Alice, "My new inspirational poster is so effective that I decided to carry it with me." The Boss asks, "What do you think, Alice? Are you inspired?" Alice replies, "I'd really have to see the front . . ." The boss responds, "Hmm . . . I don't think there's a win-win scenario here." Alice rolls her eyes and walks away saying, "Tell me about it . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #male sinking, #bold leadership, #inspirational posters, #variety, #relevant nature scenes, #relate to scene, #seagull, #clam

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #records retention, #valuable documents, #stored, #so much easier, #asks for anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches a door that is labeled, "Records Retention." In the Records Retention Office, Dilbert hands a pile of documents to the librarian and says, "These valuable documents should be stored for five years." As he throws the documents in the trash bin, the librarian thinks, "This job got so much easier when I realized that nobody ever asks for anything back."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert treks tna, #tech writer, #technical writing, #word processing, #highly skilled, #communications professional, #inert thoughts, #staff meeting, #org chart, #secretary meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Tina, "Is technical writing the same as word processing?" Tina replies angrily, "No!!!" Tina continues, "I am a highly skilled communications professional! I can take jumbles of inert thoughts and bring them to life!!" The Boss enters and says to Tina, "My secretary is running the staff meeting. I need you to retype this org chart." Dogbert comments, "The doctor is in!"