Covered With Frogs Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Covered With Frogs
View 981 - 990 results for covered with frogs comic strips. Discover the best "Covered With Frogs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 08,
2009
Tags #selfishness, #rudeness, #sales, #internet, #confusion, #sabotage, #business, #technology
Transcript
The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday January 06,
2009
Tags #cold, #temperature, #rudeness, #sarcasm
Transcript
Carol says, "It's only 68 degrees in here. Why aren't you cold?" Wally says, "I'm a mammal, but I don't like to brag about it." Carol says, "What's that supposed to mean?" Wally says, "Stop pinging me with your sonar."
Sunday December 21,
2008
Tags #agreement, #areas of expertise, #business units, #confusion, #consolidate shared services, #diagnostic review, #evil director, #from centers, #invoice, #meeting, #presentation, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources man says, "My consultants can transform human resources." man says, "We'll start with a diagnostic review." man says, "Then you'll form centers of excellence around areas of expertise." man says, "Next, you'll consolidate shared services and drive continuous improvement." man says, "Business units will translate operational imperatives into HR actions. Catbert says, "Does any of that mean the same as firing idiots and cutting the budget?" man says, "Which answer gets us hired?" Catbert says, "Try yes." Man says, "Yes!" Catbert says, "Great. Put a bow on it and send me the invoice."
Saturday December 20,
2008
Tags #blame, #costume, #meeting, #scapegoat, #senario set up, #luck, #business
Transcript
Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn?t be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."
Sunday December 14,
2008
Tags #agree, #disagree, #idea, #plan, #terrible idea, #worst ever idea, #bordering irresponsible, #disagrees with everyone, #idea is awful, #manipulate me, #terrible tidea, #dance puppet dance
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!
Wednesday December 10,
2008
Tags #elderly, #old, #phone, #landline phones, #no caller id, #new technology, #offered hard candy, #fiddlesticks, #couldn't hear
Transcript
We surveyed a thousand people who still have landline phones and no caller I.D. We asked for their opinion on our new technology. 34% said, "Fiddlesticks," and 23% couldn't hear the question. 43% thought we were in the room with them and offered us a hard candy.
Tuesday December 09,
2008
Tags #job, #lose my job, #rate service superiro, #service, #successful man, #survey, #loose job, #loose wife, #business
Transcript
Mordac: You will get a survey asking you how satisfied you were with my service today. If you don't rate my service superior in all categories, I will lose my jobs and my wife will leave me for a more successful man. Dilbert: Is she cute? Mordac: Why do you ask?
Wednesday November 26,
2008
Tags #coworkers, #beat up, #deal with difficult coworkers, #evil driector, #human resources, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert: Alice beat me up. You have to do something. Catbert: Here's a book on how to deal with difficult coworkers. Dilbert: This isn't quite what... Catbert: Try holding it in front of your face.
Sunday November 16,
2008
Tags #imagination, #experince, #email, #boss, #hurts brain, #think about it, #team players, #new projects, #form of evil, #people squander it
Transcript
Asok says, "Is it my imagination or am I doing your job, plus mine?" Wally says, "That's not your imagination, Asok." Wally says, "It's a little thing I call experience." Wally says, "Once a week, I e-mail our pointy-haired boss and ask him a question." Wally says, "I make the question so complicated that it hurts his brain." The Boss says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Wally says, "He'll spend the rest of the week avoiding me so he doesn't need to think about it." Wally says, "Meanwhile he seeks out team players and hammers them with new projects." Asok says, "So... experience is a form of evil?" Wally says, "Not always. Some people squander it."
Sunday November 02,
2008
Tags #fish, #microwave, #stink, #offcie, #impossible, #microwave things that smell bad, #job performance, #slippery slope, #socioathy, #liberating feeling, #felt bad, #extra fish, #animals
Transcript
Carol says, "Where are you going with that fish?" Wally says, "I'm going to microwave it." Carol says, "That will stink up the office and make it impossible for anyone else to enjoy life." Carol says, "Isn't there something else you could eat?" Wally says, "I'm not going to eat it. I just like to microwave things that smell bad." Wally says, "After I stopped caring about my job performance, it was a slippery slope to complete sociopathy." Wally says, "It's a liberating feeling. I can't remember the last time I felt bad." Carol says, "Do you have an extra fish?"