Death To Boss Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Death To Boss

View 981 - 990 results for death to boss comic strips. Discover the best "Death To Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #job, #happiness, #fulfillment, #meaning, #pleasure, #struggle, #engagement, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drones, #national security, #invention, #technology, #birds, #death, #environmental issues, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

Addictive Apps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #app, #zombie, #mindlessness, #cell phone, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Brittle Phone Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #big business, #fragile, #iphone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You asked for a breakdown of what I did this month. I wasted 25 percent of my time in useless meetings. I spent 33 percent of my time listening to co-workers complain about other co-workers. I used 11 percent to resend files I already sent. 14 percent went to dealing with a rumor you started by accident. 16 percent went toward working on the wrong things because you communicate poorly. Boss: What did you do with the 1 percent that was left? Dilbert: You just experienced it.

Wally And Agile Programming

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #avoid, #evasion, #acrobatics

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

Dashboard Never Changes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dashboard Never Changes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #trick, #technology, #status, #ruse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.

Dashboard For The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dashboard For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #ruse, #trick, #deception.

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It's called a dashboard. It shows the current status of all our projects. With a tool like this, you never need to ask us for status updates. Wally: How'd the fake dashboard gambit work out? Dilbert: Great! He hasn't talked to me in weeks.

Biggest Obstacle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Biggest Obstacle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #honesty, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What is your biggest obstacle to success on this project? Dilbert: It's you. It's always you. Should I add that to the business plan? Boss: Let's keep it general.