Dogbert Venture Capitalist Comic Strips - Page 99

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View 981 - 990 results for dogbert venture capitalist comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert Venture Capitalist" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employees, #ignorant, #intranet collaboration, #sign it, #their ignorance, #tools, #dogbert consults, #business

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As a consultant, Dogbert says to the Boss "All of your employees are ignorant." Dobgert continues, "I can fix that by selling you intranet collaboration tools." The Boss says to Dgbert in an uneasy voice, "But if they're sharing their ignorance..." Dogbert thinks to himself, "Sign it, sign it, sign it..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #no click shopping, #patent, #whiners, #ship books

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Dogbert holds a clipboard and approaches Dilbert at his computer. Dogbert says, "My patent for no-click shopping was granted." Dogbert continues, "I'm sure some whiners will say it's an obvious idea." Dogbert turns to Dilbert and says, "You'd better click something or I'll have to ship you some books."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #antimicrobial polymer, #pick up lines, #two women, #stinky socks, #turn off, #a no no

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Dilbert is standing at a party with two women. He says, "My socks use an anti-microbial polymer to bond chlorine atoms to cotton." He continues, "I can wear these babies for days before they start to stink." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What was that other pick-up line we talked about?" Dogbert answers, "It was 'Hi.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2000's comic on:


Tags #random drug tests, #unpleasent, #offer free cashews, #Charlie Brown

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Dilbert reaches for a cup as a Doctor says, "We know these random drug tests are unpleasant for employees." The Doctor holds out a dish and says, "That's why we offer free cashews." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Suddenly I thought of Charlie Brown but I don't know why."

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Share May 25, 2000's comic on:


Tags #ceo spokeperson, #pose, #prodcut, #blue screen technology, #important elements, #blue blouse

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The caption reads: "CEO as Spokesperson." The CEO is seen leaning over a chair seductively with her hair tossed to one side. Dogbert stands behind the camera and she asks, "What does this pose have to do with our product?" Dogbert answers, "I'll use blue screen technology to add important elements later." The CEO says, "My blouse is blue." A voluptuous woman stands in towel behind Dogbert. Dogbert turns to her and says, "Five minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #ceo spokeperson, #leaning on chair, #dressed like nun, #director, #bossy, #blunt director

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Caption reads: "CEO as Spokesperson." The CEO asks, "Shouldn't I hold up our project instead of leaning on a chair?" Dogbert stands across from her with a camera and a beret on. Dogbert screams through a bullhorn, "NO!!" His screams blows the CEO's hair back. The CEO stands angrily with her hair tossled as Dogbert says, "That helped your hair but you're still dressed like a nun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2000's comic on:


Tags #ad campiagn, #festured, #new ceo, #powerful woman, #indutry, #than lines

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Dogbert sits next to the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "My consultant thinks you should be featured in our ad campaign." An attractive woman sits behind a large desk and says, "Is that because I'm the new CEO and the most powerful woman in our industry?" The Boss answers, "Umm...yes. That's why." Dogbert turns and says, "Remember to ask about tan lines."

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Share May 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #advertsisemnst, #fame, #new ceo, #recommend exploit, #hi tech industry

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Standing on a desk Dogbert says to the Boss, "Your new CEO is the most powerful woman in the hi-tech industry." Dogbert contiues, "I recommend exploiting her fame in your advertisements." Holding a bikini set attached to a hanger, the Boss replies "Why do I have to be the one to suggest it?" Dogbert answers, "CEOs love this sort of thing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part

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Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #lose weight, #write down meals, #patented weight loss pencil

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Dogbert says to his client, "You can lose weight if you write down all of your meals in a journal." The man asks Dogbert, "That's all I need to do?" And Dogbert replies, "Yes, if you use our patented weight-loss pencil." The man leaves Dogbert carrying a gigantic pencil over his shoulder.