Dr. Dogbert Show Comic Strips - Page 99
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Share February 15, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Dogbert, "Wow! You finished the project below your estimate and on time." Dogbert holds on to his tail and thinks, "Hold..Hold..." The Boss continues, "All I need are a few changes at your hourly fee, which was never specified in our contract." Dogbert still holds his tail and thinks, "Hold... Hold... Hold..." Dogbert is standing on the table, wagging his tail profusely: "WAG!"
Share February 10, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I don't think our network can handle the extra network traffic." The Boss replies, "Opinions don't matter to me. I base my decisions on hard data." Dilbert responds, "How about logic? Our network is already too slow and we plan to quadruple usage." The Boss responds, "Bah! Watch how science works and maybe you'll learn something." The Boss pokes his head out of his office and says to Doug, "Doug, come here for a minute." Doug says, "Our data proves that our network has infinite capacity, so your budget should be diverted to my project." Dilbert exclaims, "That's not science! That's a weasel misinterpreting data to get extra funding!" Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "There are days when you really hate to hear the phrase 'po-tay-to, po-tah-to."
Share February 08, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert comes home. He says to Dogbert, "I just had a good meeting." Dogbert responds, "Maybe it just didn't last long enough to reveal the incompetence of the attendees." Dilbert replies, "That's what I call a good meeting." Dogbert responds, "I'm having a bad meeting."
Share February 06, 2002's comic on:
A woman says into the telephone, "What can I do to avoid getting computer viruses?" On the other end of the line, Dogbert replies, "Give your power cord a spinal adjustment once a week to prevent disease." The woman is adjusting her power cord. She says aloud, "I was skeptical until he said there's anecdotal evidence that it works!"
Share February 05, 2002's comic on:
Dogbert talks into a telephone headset, "Hello. This is Dogbert's all-natural and holistic tech support." The man on the other end listens. Dogbert continues, "Try stuffing tree bark in the CD drive and meditating." Dogbert continues, "No, of course it won't damage anything; it's all natural!"
Share February 04, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert is talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Your software is worn out. You must be typing too hard." Dogbert continues, "Switch to decaf, paint your walls pink and stop going to the gym." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and says, "I've never heard of holistic tech support." Dogbert replies, "Maybe you should read more."
Share January 21, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert is meeting with a customer. He says, "I'll talk to you every day to see if you change your mind." The customer replies, "Don't talk to me every day." Dilbert says, "You might change your mind." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Did you know that if you cross 'sales' with 'talk' you get 'stalk?'"
Share January 17, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Sales Training. A speaker says, "A trained salesperson can sell anything to anyone." The speaker continues, "I will prove it by selling this roadkill to one of you for a thousand dollars." Dilbert returns home with roadkill on his head. Dogbert asks, "Um.. How was your class?" Dilbert responds, "I got a hat!"
Share January 15, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "I got fired from my job at the restaurant." Dilbert continues, "Every time I carried hot soup my thumb would slip in and I'd scream and spray the whole dining room." Dilbert continues, "I blame the soup." Dogbert replies, "Stupid soup."
Share January 11, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take a job as a waiter until I can get a job as an engineer." Dogbert replies, "You're not qualified to wait on tables." Dilbert responds, "How hard could it be?" A waiter is juggling dishes unsteadily. He says to Dilbert, "The manager is over there slapping a drunk."