Drowning In Work Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Drowning In Work
View 981 - 990 results for drowning in work comic strips. Discover the best "Drowning In Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 07,
2005
Tags #work, #without supervsion, #teal, #hassle, #show himself out
Transcript
The Boss: Can you work well without supervision? Candidate: "No. I need continuous supervision to keep me from stealin' and harassin'." The boss: "I think we're done here." Candidate: "Do you mind if I show myself out?"
Wednesday February 02,
2005
Tags #award, #hard work, #chair, #new chair, #stolen, #happiest moment
Transcript
The Boss: This award goes to Asok for his hard work on ... Whatever. Asok: "My dedication has been rewarded! This is the happiest moment of my life!" "Wow! It's lucky that I got a new chair on the same day that mine was stolen."
Sunday January 23,
2005
Tags #change is good, #triple pay, #meeting, #work for free, #change can be bad, #slogans, #logic, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "You must learn that change is good." Change is :) "Any questoins?" Wally: "Who wants this one?" Dilbert: "I got it." "Question: Why don't you triple our pay? That would be a change." The Boss: "That would not be in the best interst of shareholders." Dilbert: "Okay, why don't you work for free? That's a change that's good for shareholders." "Or would it be better to admit that change can be very bad?" Wally: "My favorite part was when he yelled, "Stop ruining my slogans with your logic!"" Dilbert: "Snort hee-hee!!!"
Thursday January 20,
2005
Tags #tina trains, #new boss, #uniformed decions, #sociopathic ego maniac, #like to fidget
Transcript
Tina trains her boss Tina: You'll find me in this chair. doing real work. Tina: your job, as I understand it, is to make uninformed decisions and act like a sociopathic egomaniac, Tina: you'll usually stand like this. I also like to fidget and harrumph.
Sunday January 16,
2005
Tags #certified massage therapist, #clicking, #every week, #few minutes, #lengthy questionarie, #one hand, #pen pal, #used pen
Transcript
Certified Massage Therapist "Fill out this lengthy medical questionnaire." "That'll save me a few minutes of touching him." "I wonder if he'd know if I only used one hand." "Actually, how would he even know if it's a hand?" "Maybe I have an object here that feels like a hand." "This ballpoint pen will work." "I'm finding some tension here. Okay, it's gone now." "She says I should come back every week until my muscles stop clicking." "Sounds like you found a pen pal."
Monday January 03,
2005
Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?
Friday December 17,
2004
Tags #advice for cousin, #carerradvice, #dilmon, #frustrated work environement, #scratch out meager living
Transcript
Your cousin Lauren just got her degree in English. Can you give her some career advice? "Would you enjoy scratching out a meager living in a frustrating work environment?" "I've never thought about it." "Obviously."
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags #cubicle vampire, #happy coowrkers, #in search of, #talk, #work related issues, #life drained, #gut instinct, #you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Sunday October 31,
2004
Tags #senior vice president, #impress, #chummy with intern, #slacking slacker, #good motivation
Transcript
The Boss: The new senior vice president will be at my meeting, I hope to impress him with my leadership skills. Uh- oh underling alert. I can't be seen getting chummy with an intern, Pleas don't try to make conversation don't don't don't don't Asok: did you do anything fun this weekend? The boss: Here he comes! The boss: get back to work you slacking slacker!!! Good motivating! if he blows ho sons with every necktie. You're my new vice president.
Wednesday October 13,
2004
Tags #p/u ratio, #sky rocketing, #productivity, #useful, #mistake, #distarction, #backwards
Transcript
"Your P/U ratio is skyrocketing again." "My what?" "Productivity-to-usefulness. It means you produce a lot, but everything you produce is a mistake or a distraction." "I told you last time to do less work!" "Oooh... I did that backwards."