God Like Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for God Like

View 981 - 990 results for god like comic strips. Discover the best "God Like" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unpleasant parts, #free to concentrate, #do startegy

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to hire someone to do all of the unpleasant parts of my job." "That way I'll be free to concentrate on strategy." "Fair enough." "Secondly, I'd like to hire someone to do strategy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pet employee, #all projects, #cutting edge technology, #hawaii

View Transcript

Transcript

"Don't worry that I might give all the good projects to my pet employee." "Petricia, I'd like you to evaluate cutting-edge technologies in Hawaii." "Now, who's left to wax my back?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #itern, #eating fiber, #schools, #indian institute of technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tex, I'd like you to meet Asok, our intern." "Asok? What kind of name is that? Are you a taxi driver?" "Um...no." "I've produced bigger things than you by eating fiber!" "Do they have schools where you came from?" "Actually, Asok graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology. So if I were you, I wouldn't make him angry." "Why? What's he gonna do? Gnaw on my ankle?" "Explode! Explode!" BOOM! "They taught you some good stuff." "Nah. You can't even get in unless you can do that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grim reaping, #field, #unpaid overtime cases, #see guys die

View Transcript

Transcript

"Someday I hope to get into the grim reaping field." "I don't mind working these unpaid overtime cases, but just once I'd like to see one of you guys die." "Hey, I just realized that my rake is very blunt."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #court ordered, #email records, #deleted, #system mainentance, #wink wink, #flirting, #in on it, #scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer "The court ordered us to turn over all of our e-mail records." "Gosh, I sure hope they don't get deleted during regularly scheduled system maintenance." "Oh no. That would be bad! Wink! Wink!" "Good grief, man! How can you be flirting at a time like this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #return frisbee, #doesn't fly, #software cd, #total idiot, #users manual, #poorly written

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to return this Frisbee (TM). It doesn't fly right." "This is a software CD. Only a total idiot would think it was a Frisbee (TM)." "In my defense, the user's manual was poorly written." "Plus you're a total idiot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

I've decided to test my market value by doing some interviews. "Would you like some interview tips?" "Nah. I'll use my instincts." "You're an hour late!" "Your men's room is like a palace."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Do you have the list of invitees for the debriefing meeting? "Here." "I like to blame people who won't be in the room." "Bad news for you: You're not on the list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"There's no law that says a porpoise can't kill a company lawyer, but it's still somewhat bad." "Officially, I have to give you a reprimand." "Unofficially, do you like mackerel?" Squeak!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I heard that porpoises are smart, so I hired one." "Porpoises have been known to save humans by attacking sharks with their snouts." "He looks like our company lawyer, but more surprised."