Me Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Me

View 981 - 990 results for me comic strips. Discover the best "Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #man, #criticizing, #face, #head, #arrogance, #toxic, #personality, #garbage, #plague, #legs, #truth, #power, #behind, #back

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I heard you were criticizing me behind my back. Try saying those things to my face! Dilbert: Okay. You're a hot-headed know-nothing who uses his arrogance to mask his total lack of talent. You ruin every meeting with your toxic personality. Every project you touch turns to garbage you're like a plague with legs. Man: Okay... That was harsh, but I respect you for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: You don't have any power. Man: Maybe it's better if you talk behind my back.

Spending The Company's Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Spending The Company's Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #price, #high, #ted, #company, #money, #live, #die, #minute, #sense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.

Do What Is Right

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do What Is Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #stupid, #punish, #hypothetically, #Right

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Hypothetically, if my boss told me to do something stupid, should I do it? The Boss: You should do what you know is right. Dilbert: Oh, good. The Boss: And then your boss should punish you for doing it.

Bias For Action

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bias For Action - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #waste, #time, #thought, #chairs, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We need to have a bias for action! Alice: Good idea. This meeting is a total waste of time. The Boss: I probably should have thought that through.

Slavery Or Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Slavery Or Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #alice, #succeed, #nitpick, #slavery, #choice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We can only succeed if every one of you gives one hundred percent. Wally: I don't mean to nitpick, but wouldn't that technically be slavery? The Boss: No, because you have a choice. Wally: Didn't you just say the other choice is failure?

Death In The Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol, #Catbert, #death, #Family, #dies, #specific

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

Use Company Products

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Use Company Products - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #asok, #alice, #attention, #products, #required, #use, #bad, #sign

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It has come to my attention that none of you use the products we make. From now on you are all required to use our products. Asok: Aaaarg!!! Dilbert: Shoot me. The Boss: That's a bad sign. Wally: Nooo!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #co-workers, #phone calls, #cubicle, #breaks, #flow, #Food, #smells, #break, #room, #pretending, #thermostat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My co-workers make it impossible to work. I hear every one of their phone calls. It's maddening. When they walk past my cubicle it breaks my flow. And don't get me started about the food smells coming from the break room. They ask me one dumb question after another. I don't know who keeps turning up the thermostat. But it's too hot to think. The Boss: Would it help if I threaten to fire you? Dilbert: It's worth a try I'll be in my cubicle pretending to work.

Fine Lines

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fine Lines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #line, #optimism, #idiocy, #cynicism, #realism, #will, #love, #dead, #working

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.

Everyone Does Their Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Does Their Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?