Mob Boss Comic Strips - Page 99
1000 Results for Mob Boss
View 981 - 990 results for mob boss comic strips. Discover the best "Mob Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 22, 2014's comic on:
Boss: You need to show more leadership on your project. Dilbert: How do you know my leadership is a problem? Maybe the team members are bad followers. Boss: It's your job to fix it either way. Dilbert: The way you just fixed me with your leadership?
Share December 19, 2014's comic on:
Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.
Share December 16, 2014's comic on:
Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.
Share December 13, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.
Share December 10, 2014's comic on:
Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!
Share December 08, 2014's comic on:
Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?
Share December 02, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Do you want some constructive criticism? Dilbert: No, but I would love some under-informed opinions about things you don't understand. Boss: That took a lot of fun out of it.
Share December 01, 2014's comic on:
Boss: I couldn't open the document you sent with your project update. Wally: Try erasing your hard disk and reinstalling the operating system. Boss: I guess I don't need it that badly. Wally: After all the work I put into making that document?
Share November 30, 2014's comic on:
Boss: Would you like some feedback on your performance? Dilbert: No. Boss: You're supposed to appreciate feedback because it makes you feel valued. Dilbert: How does listening to you belittle me about things you don't understand make me feel valued? Boss: Well, I don't know. It must be an indirect thing. Maybe we should just try it and see how it feels. Dilbert: Whatever. Boss: I don't actually watch you work, so I'm mostly guessing about the things you do wrong. I accuse you of being slow and disorganized! Is it working yet? Dilbert: Yes. If that makes you go away.
Share November 27, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.