One Type Computer Comic Strips - Page 99

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1000 Results for One Type Computer

View 981 - 990 results for one type computer comic strips. Discover the best "One Type Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2004's comic on:


Tags #profits down, #sales department, #warhouse, #book

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The boss: "Profits are down, so we fired the sales department to reduce costs." "This strategy heavily depends on people driving to our warehouse and begging for our products." "Do you think I should write a book?" Dilbert: "I'd try reading one first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stolen computer, #boss takes, #employee, #work, #unjust

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The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #office relocation., #new cubicle, #less roomy, #need butter, #torso, #slide in, #attracts rats, #cheap, #low budget

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Office relocation. Asok: Your new cubicle is less roomy than the old one. You will need this butter. Apply it liberally to your torso area and you can slide right in. But don't stay in there for more than 10 minutes at a time because it attracts rats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #office relocation, #procedures, #wrong cubicle, #easily stealable, #move computer, #rules and regulations, #company rules

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Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #office relocation, #studied boss, #learned methods, #corner you, #scream about bright light

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"I am in charge of the office relocation project, also known as O.R.P." "I have never managed anything, but I have studied our boss to learn his methods." "Let's see.. step one, I corner you. Step two, I talk until you scream about seeing a bright light."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #global economy, #vibrant, #fly bait, #reformatted, #disguise true objective

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Dilbert: "It's workers like me that make the global economy so vibrant." Carol: "The pointy-haired fly-bait wants this reformatted to disguise his true objective." Carol: "When you're done, don't show it anyone. No one cares." Dilbert: "Zesty!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #intern, #cheap boss, #full size cubicle, #half size, #cubicle, #treats poorly, #no budget, #garbage can, #misunderstand

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Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #dating, #party, #phone number, #information, #email, #voicemail, #home phone, #offcie, #work email, #personal website, #too much info, #skeleton, #relationships

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"I've never done this before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voice mail if you do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2003's comic on:


Tags #break into subgroups, #net meeting, #usual time, #loose canon, #label, #hackneyed phrases, #cut now type

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wally: "I recommend that we break into subgroups to create a process for choosing our next meeting time." alice: "Or we could just meet next week at our usual time." wally: "You're a loose canon." Alice: "Stop labeling me with hackneyed phrases!" Wally: "You're a 'cut now, measure later' type."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #protective employees, #question, #resoning, #fox, #chickens, #across river, #rowboat, #eat chickens, #livestock insurance, #blame the fox, #barbecue chickens

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The Boss: "I ask all prospective employees this question to test their reasoning." "You have one fox and two chickens that you need to get across a river. You can only take one at a time in the rowboat. The fox will eat the chickens if left alone." "I'd buy livestock insurance, then barbecue the chickens and blame the fox." Boss: "Can you start today?"