With People Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for With People

View 981 - 990 results for with people comic strips. Discover the best "With People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poor persons, #rich people, #homely, #middle class, #capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't know how to say this delicately so I'll just say it. Looking at your homely, middle-class face makes my skin crawl. Never speak directly to me again. Sometimes I think they don't understand capitalism.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #engineers, #middleman, #worse case scenario, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #engineers, #loud howard, #topper, #hatred, #passive aggressive

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm putting you on a project with Loud Howard, Topper and the new guy who loves the sound of his own voice. Dilbert: Is it because you hate me? Boss: Not at all. It's because I hate the other three guys.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #executives, #poor persons, #ceo morality test, #new tech, #fracking, #grinding porr people, #high pressure, #shale

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dieting & weight control, #interviews, #tattoos & body marking, #job interview, #face tattoo, #overeating, #bad idea, #people can see, #dont interview well

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ever think that getting that face tattoo might be a bad career move? Interviewee: No. Was there ever a time you thought overeating was a bad idea? Because people can see that. Boss: You don't interview well. Job interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elections, #online (web) news, #patents, #libor rates, #higgs bison, #patent law, #electoral college

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Here's some news I don't understand about libor rates. Here's some news I don't understand about the Higgs boson. Remind me why we have news. Catbert: I think it has something to do with patent law and the electoral college.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #candy, #children, #engineers, #big companies, #good engineering, #skulk around schoolyards, #nerdy loners, #offer candy, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #web traffic, #blatant honesty, #money, #negotiations, #various things, #vague stuff, #vagueness

View Transcript

Transcript

Social media expert Consultant: If you give me lots of money, I will do various vague things to increase your web traffic. Boss: Wow! I would have been happy with just various things, but that vague stuff sounds great too! Dilbert: And now he's my responsibility? Boss: Don't screw up his vagueness plan because I think it can work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boredom, #secretaries (office), #mindless and repetetive, #task, #spur creativity, #creative person, #dispose of body, #snide, #snarky

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cold desperation, #drab, #grimy habitat, #meaningless, #pile of money, #poor persons, #rich people, #roll in money, #underling

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Uh-oh. I'm lost and I've wandered into the grimy habitat of an underling. I feel the cold desperation of your drab and meaningless life. I need to roll in money to get the smell off me. Where's the nearest pile?