4 Hour Meeting Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for 4 Hour Meeting
View 981 - 990 results for 4 hour meeting comic strips. Discover the best "4 Hour Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 25,
2015
Dilbert Forms Snap Judgement
Tags #judgment, #judging, #first impression, #meeting people
Transcript
Tim: Hi, I'm Tim. Dilbert: That's enough. I formed a snap judgement. Studies say we form snap judgments about people.And I already did, so no need for details. Tim: I'm just looking for my phone. Dilbert: Yup, I already judged you to be flakey.
Sunday May 10,
2015
Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication
Transcript
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.
Thursday May 28,
2015
Alice Can Be Disrespectful
Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless
Transcript
Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...
Sunday July 26,
2015
Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.
Friday July 31,
2015
Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert
Tags #laziness, #firing, #fired, #termination, #identity, #fake identity, #alias, #nom de guerre, #deception
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.
Sunday September 06,
2015
Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering
Transcript
CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!
Tuesday August 25,
2015
Boss Falls Off Bridge
Tags #walking, #meeting, #meetings, #accident, #difficult, #gimmick, #manager, #idea, #ideas, #distraction, #Sports, #business
Transcript
Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.
Thursday September 24,
2015
Ceo Compensation
Tags #money, #worth, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #fair, #pay, #expenses, #saving, #rich people, #executives
Transcript
Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.
Sunday October 25,
2015
Tags #computer, #robot, #replacement, #doctor, #medicine, #obsolete, #job, #diagnose, #necessity, #technology, #invention, #business, #medical
Transcript
Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.
Tuesday October 27,
2015
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down
Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.