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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #overtime, #required, #manage, #meeting, #no linger mandatory, #business

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The boss meets with Asok, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, "Overtime is no longer mandatory." The boss says, "It's required." Asok growls. The boss thinks, "I manage and I manage, but nothing seems to make them happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1999's comic on:


Tags #feel sick, #crying or punching, #bad case, #mahjobis crappus

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Alice sits in a doctor's office. Alice says, "I feel sick every morning." Alice says, "All day long, I feel like either crying or punching people." The doctor says, "You've got a bad case of mahjobis crappus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #wavy pattern, #carpet, #dizzy, #home, #sleep, #groggy, #health

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Wally stands in front of the boss' desk and says, "The wavy pattern on the carpet is making me dizzy." Wally says, "I'd better go home and sleep it off." Wally says, "I'll be back tomorrow unless all the sleep makes me groggy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #Catbert, #sick days, #unusual reasons, #imagined to be fly, #hair, #crazy reasons, #made up reason, #fake excuses

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CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1999's comic on:


Tags #found no problem, #our drinking water, #drink bottled water

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The Boss, Wally and Dilbert are at a meeting. The Boss is holding a bottle of water. The Boss says, "Our safety department has tested our drinking water and found no problem." The Boss drinks the water. Wally says, "Then why do you drink only bottled water?" The Boss says, "Because that's what the safety department drinks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new laptops, #osbournes, #sloppy drive, #operating, #internet time

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Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss reads from his notes. The Boss says, "All new computers will be osbornes." The Boss says, "They come with something called a floppy drive." Dilbert says to Wally, "Somethimg tells me we're not operating on 'Internet Time.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #internet business idea, #sent idea, #five companies, #space

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The Boss says, off-frame, to Dilbert, "I like your internet business idea. Let's do it." Dilbert, off-frame says to The Boss, "I sent you that idea a year ago. Since then, five companies have gone IPO in that space." The Boss says, "Can we buy one of them?" Dilbert says, "If by 'one' you mean one share of stock, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1999's comic on:


Tags #young mans game, #low paid embryo, #already doing

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The Boss, sits at his desk and says to Wally, "Wally, technology is a young man's game." The Boss presents an embryo in a glass in his hand and says, "That's why I'm replacing you with this low-paid embryo." The Boss, off-frame except for hand and embryo, says, "Teach him to do what you do." Wally says, "He's already doing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1999's comic on:


Tags #low paid embryo, #so cute, #healthy, #teaching drink coffee

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Alice says to Wally as he leaves his cubicle, "I hear you're being replaced by a low-paid embryo. May I see it?" The embryo is on the table. A straw runs from the embryo ti a coffee mug. Alice says, "He is so-oo cute!" Wally says, "I'm teaching him to drink coffee." Alice says, "Is that healthy?" Wally says, "It must be. I drink six quarts a day, and look at me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1999's comic on:


Tags #good leader, #listens emplyees, #laughing on inside, #good time

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Wally stands in front of The Boss. The Boss says, "A good leader listens to his employees..." Wally stands, The Boss says off-frame, "No matter how much he is laughing on the inside." Wally says, "Maybe this isn't a good time." The boss makes a funny face.