Another Company Comic Strips - Page 99
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View 981 - 990 results for another company comic strips. Discover the best "Another Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 27, 2007's comic on:
Tina the tech writer The Boss: "I decided to base your salary on the number of pages you write." Tina: "Fine. I'll give you a high volume of low quality work." The Boss: "Sometimes the best you can do is move the hairball to another pocket."
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Share December 04, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." Dogbert: "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." Dilbert: "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."
Share December 12, 2007's comic on:
Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."
Share December 26, 2007's comic on:
"And Wally, did you finish your project tasks for today?" Wally: "No. I took a calculated risk that other people would not finish their tasks either, making my lateness totally irrelevant." "Um..." "That is the worst..." "I need another week."
Share March 12, 2006's comic on:
"Welcome to Dogbert's catch-and-release CEO seminar." "Catch-and-release is more than a way to hurt fish for entertainment." "It's a philosophy that will inform your entire life." "For example, when you acquire a new company, wait a few years and then spin it off." "When you catch a new spouse, wait a few years and then set it free." Boot! "When you golf, hit that ball into a hole and then take it out." "Your ultimate goal is to look decisive without making any real decisions." "Good seminar. It makes fishing more fun when you know it hurts them!" "Ouch!"
Share November 05, 2006's comic on:
"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."
Share November 26, 2006's comic on:
"Our company has decided to try something new." Six Sigma "New? Six Sigma was developed in the 80s." "It's new to us." "Why don't we jump on a fad that hasn't already been widely discredited?" "That way the false hope might sustain us." "There's nothing wrong with Six Sigma. All it does is reduce defects!" "Let's see...Fortune Magazine sys...blah, blah...Most companies that used Six Sigma have trailed the S&P 500." "Sorry I'm late. What did I miss while I was innovating?"
Share February 26, 2006's comic on:
"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"
Share July 09, 2006's comic on:
"Dilbert, I have a little project for you to do in your spare time." "What exactly is my 'spare time'?" "Well, for example, there's the time that normal people would use for dating." "And since you're not dating, you can trim a few minutes from your hygiene schedule too." "Then there's the time you spend daydreaming about a fulfilling life." "That's exactly like stealing from the company." "And your stupid questions - Those have to take at least an hour a day." "Are my questions stupid?" "Not as bad as your answers."