Asking Out Comic Strips - Page 99
1000 Results for Asking Out
View 981 - 990 results for asking out comic strips. Discover the best "Asking Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 22, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "My CEO threw me through a fifth-floor window. I'd like to press charges." A policeman says, "Your CEO? Do you think he would hire me to do security on his yacht?" Dilbert says, "No." The policeman says, "Would he hire me if I club you with this stick-thing?" Dilbert says, "Maybe."
Share July 30, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"
Share August 18, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "We're rethinking our policy of allowing shorts during the heat wave." The Boss says, "Until we sort that out, I've been asked to cover you with a tarp." Dilbert thinks, "I should have fought for eye holes."
Share August 26, 2008's comic on:
Sitting There Wally thinks, "Leaning? What's that got to do with sitting?" Wally thinks, "I remember when Sitting There meant something. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." A voice says, "Frankly, we ran out of things to say about sitting." Wally says, "I find that hard to believe!"
Share November 11, 2008's comic on:
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."
Share December 09, 2008's comic on:
Mordac: You will get a survey asking you how satisfied you were with my service today. If you don't rate my service superior in all categories, I will lose my jobs and my wife will leave me for a more successful man. Dilbert: Is she cute? Mordac: Why do you ask?
Share December 22, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Share December 26, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Carol, book an executive retreat so we can figure out which one of you to downsize." The Boss says, "Find us someplace warm." The Boss says, "Do you have a pool?" the devil says, "You could call it that."
Share December 30, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, I have assigned a secret insulting nickname to each of you." The Boss says, "It's my way of dehumanizing the enemy so it will be easier to downsize you." Ted says, "The enemy?" The Boss says, "That's enough out of you, Osama."
Share January 07, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to work with a greater sense of urgency." Wally says, "The Bible says, "Good things come to those who wait." Wally says, "SO it's basically you against God. Let me know when you two get it sorted out." Dilbert says, "Really? There was thunder when he doubted you?" Wally says, "I synchronize my excuses to weather forecasts."