Can't Do Work Comic Strips - Page 99
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1000 Results for Can't Do Work
View 981 - 990 results for can't do work comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Do Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 10,
2000
Tags #skydiving, #planting false memories, #subconscious, #college, #education
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the sofa. Dogbert, who is sitting atop the back of the couch, asks Dilbert "Remember the time you went skydiving?" Dilbert replies with the TV remote in hand, "No." Dogbert says, "You will. I'm planting false memories in your subconscious." Dilbert replies, "It won't work." Dogbert says, "But you believe you went to college, right?"
Saturday April 15,
2000
Tags #evil hr director, #offered stock incentives, #working hard enogh, #beating customers
Transcript
Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"
Saturday May 20,
2000
Tags #performance review, #weaknesses need improvement, #become invisible, #blurry, #multitasking, #too often
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Do you have any weaknesses that need improvement?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work so fast that I become invisible." Dilbert goes on to say, "If I seem blurry right now, it's because I'm multi-tasking." The Boss thinks to himself, "Once a year is way too often for this."
Tuesday June 27,
2000
Tags #18 hour days, #industry, #competitors die trying, #match
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You've got to work eighteen hours a day to compete in this industry!" Dilbert cunningly says, "Let's just say we work eighteen hours a day. Maybe our competitors will die trying to match us." The Boss asks Dilbert, "Would that work?" Dilbert answers, "It almost worked for us."
Tuesday July 04,
2000
Tags #adventures of lulu, #no sense of proportion, #assinment, #work, #declares war, #anger, #resentment
Transcript
The adventures of LULU The woman who has no sense of proportion. GAAA! Does this mean you hate me?!! The Boss: Its called and assignment. LULU: This is war.
Tuesday July 11,
2000
Tags #company a, #dogbert consults, #free sample, #web strategy
Transcript
Dogbert the consultant says to the Boss, "Here's a free sample of my work." The Boss says to Dobgert as he reads the booklet, "So company 'A' was managed by idiots with no web strategy." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What would you recommend for my company?" Dogert replies, "First, change its name to 'A'.
Saturday July 22,
2000
Tags #resume, #sarcasm, #slave to company, #supportiveness, #undesirable location, #potential slave
Transcript
Dilbert works on his resume at work. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "There...my resume is done. I will no longer be a slave to my company." Dogbert, now irritated says to Dilbert, "Yeah! Now you're a potential slave for a company in an undesirable location!" Dilbert turns to look and Dogbert and asks, "Was that sarcasm or supportiveness?" Dogbert replies, "You only think there's a difference."
Monday August 07,
2000
Tags #secretary works harder, #paid less, #many like you, #kill boss eventually, #fewer bosses
Transcript
Carol says to the Boss, "I work harder than you. Why do I get paid a fifth of what you make?" The Boss answers, "That's because there are many people like you but few people like me." Carol replies, "Maybe that's because the people like me eventually kill the people like you."
Thursday August 24,
2000
Tags #part time work, #finish urgent projects, #pay cut, #come in on day off
Transcript
Noriko asks the Boss, "Would it be okay if I worked part-time?" The Boss answers, "That depends." The Boss continues, "Would you be willing to come in on your days off to finish urgent projects?" Noriko replies, "Yes." Dilbert asks Noriko during lunch, "So, basically you negotiated a fifty percent pay cut?"
Thursday September 07,
2000
Tags #amoeba, #boss, #cry, #cubicle, #doing work, #gets fired, #key board, #one cell organism, #secrete
Transcript
The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.