Can't Do Work Comic Strips - Page 99

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Can't Do Work

View 981 - 990 results for can't do work comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Do Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1999's comic on:

Tags #red white shirt, #spilled, #Women, #party, #drink in face, #salt, #lighter fluid, #set on fire, #burned, #not happy, #not popular

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1999's comic on:

Tags #Catbert, #director, #ceiling collapsed, #complained, #steel beam, #hit head, #happen in home, #losing consciousness, #suicide note, #doubting story, #questioning reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "CAtbert: H.R. Director". Catbert is at his desk. A voice says, "The ceiling in my work area collapsed." A man stands with a still beam stuck on his head. Catbert says, "No one else has complained." The man says, "A steel beam hit me in the head!" Catbert says, "How can I be sure it didn't happen in your home?" The man says, "There aren't any steel beams in my house!!" Catbert says, "Maybe you removed them with your head." The man says, "Uh-oh.... losing consciousness." and falls over. Catbert says, to the man's feet, "If you can hear me, don't worry! I'll write your suicide note!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2001's comic on:

Tags #give away prodcut, #for free, #deinstall it, #bill customers, #consumer despaitations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2001's comic on:

Tags #boss, #sneaking up on, #computer, #walk past, #muscles cramping, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss peeks in at Dilbert in his cubicle and thinks, "Is that work? I can't see what's on the screen." The Boss raises one leg as if in the middle of walking and thinks, "If he sees me I'll pretend I'm in mid-stride, just passing by." Wally stands behind The Boss and says into his cell phone, "The small font is working." Dilbert says into his telephone, "Good." The Boss grimaces and thinks, "Muscles cramping."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2001's comic on:

Tags #operating system, #reboot, #mouse pad, #monitor, #incompatible mouse pad, #rebooting system

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBERT'S TECH SUPPORT: Dogbert sits at his computer wearing a telephone headset. Dogbert says, "Your mousepad is incompatible with your operating system." The Boss listens on his telephone as Dogbert continues, "Try rebooting the mousepad. If that doesn't work, I'll call you back." Still on the phone The Boss asks, "How will you know?" and listens as Dogbert replies, "I'll watch you through your monitor."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2001's comic on:

Tags #reduce staff, #almost worked to death, #ted

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to The Boss, "We need to reduce staff by twenty." Catbert shows a list to The Boss and says, "Here's a list of the people you've a-l-m-o-s-t worked to death." The Boss, carrying a piece of paper, says to Ted, "I have another project for you... Uh... Ted." A frightened-looking Ted exclaims, "Aack!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2001's comic on:

Tags #company's core values, #trust, #integrity, #team work, #borrow a chair, #selling on ebay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok thinks to himself, "I must keep in mind our company's core values of trust, integrity and teamwork." Wally enters Asok's cubicle and says, "May I borrow your chair?" Asok says, "Okay" Wally is at the computer as Dilbert approaches and asks, "What are you selling on E-Bay?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2001's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #therapy session, #everyone is lying, #stock market, #congress, #boss, #therapy, #scientifically proven, #money, #psychology, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It feel like everyone in the world is lying to me. Congress is lying about the budget. Stock analysts are lying about their recommendations, My boss is lying, This therapy stuff us scientifically proven to work, right? Therapist Its 100% effective.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2001's comic on:

Tags #good job, #meeting woman, #late, #sixty hour week, #stock options decline, #not impressed

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman asks Dilbert, "Do you have a good job?" Dilbert says, "It depends on what you mean by good." Dilbert continues, "If you consider the decline of my stock options, I work sixty hours a week for nothing." The woman says, "Hey, look at the time." Dilbert says, "My boss thinks I work eighty hours. Hee hee!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2001's comic on:

Tags #day over, #cubicle, #six o'clock horror, #screaming, #nightmare, #can't leave, #more work, #over time, #stay late, #boss, #papers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is whistling while getting ready to go home. Cation reads: "A happy Dilbert prepares to go home after a long day in the cubicle." Dilbert's boss enters the cubicle. Caption reads: "Too late. The six o'clock horror is upon him!" Dilbert, taken by surprise, screams, "GAAA!" Caption reads: "In your workspace no one can hear you scream." Asok and Wally are leaving. Asok turns to Wally and asks, "What was that?" Wally answers, "Just keep walking."